To be posted VERY LOW on the fridge door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed to be Aintree and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3 Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for varsity , and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Very true marge..i like my dog better than some people ..ours lives like a person as he is part of the family..at the moment he is sulking as i bought him a xmas present and i have hidden it he got a little peek at it.. :D I bought him a pumpkin toy but he isnt satisfied with that.. :rolleyes:
Love it ... I've had a good laugh nodding in agreement as I read! :D I will also print it out but will leave it on the screen for now for t'other half to read when he comes through. I know Kedi-Gato and hubby will also be in agreement and love it too!
Glad you all like it - my favourite bits are the down the stairs one and the last one one the list 'If they get pregnant, you can sell their children'!! :D :D
I like the bathroom part best as connor follows me into the bathroom and when its time to get out the bath he expects me to do an olympic long jump over him..!!the only thing is the bathroom is small and he is huge !!!!!! :rolleyes:
On the rare occasion I manage to use the loo without one of the kids in attendence, I end up with the cats staring at me :rolleyes: Great stuff Marge
I like the "this is your food, this is my food" and the "kiss me first" ones. We never shut doors (on the rooms which DO have doors) and ours have always come into the bathroom with us, door never shut unless we have company, so there's no probs with that. Magic Sam has always INSISTED on sitting on my lap whilst I'm on the loo ... he has to have shoulder massages and then curls up for the "session". :rolleyes: My cousin's wife loves it, says she's never had such lovely company in the loo with her before! :D :D We haven't had children (by choice) so can count those out. [ 28. October 2006, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: Lady of Leisure ]
Whenever Mr.fiz gets up in the night to pee he inevitably steps on Dfor dog.He,Dfor,goes berzerk and chases him across the room snacking at his,feet.There`s always the same"It`s like a bl*?dy minefield" scream thingy,then all`s quiet again.I must have a sixth sense as to where he`ll be cos i never have that carry on.The morning rituals are always the same with the dogs sitting in front of me.Mr.fiz says,"one gets the loo roll for ya and the other wipes your A*/s*. :D
