I made it through another one

Please indulge me with this please.

THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL NEXT WEEK!!!!!!




I MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER LONG LONG SUMMER BREAK.

 

Oh Gord, the days of lie ins are over, the mad mothers will be disturbing the mornings' peace again, there's a first school about 150 yards down the road. Cars all over the place, loud voiced conversations under me window, screaming infants being ignored or screamed at by the gossiping harridans, trellis pulled down, flowers pulled up, roll on half term

 

would have been easier if you had survived another summer break ...you have just made it through the rainy season:thumb: must have been even harder:eek:

 

You sounds happy... :D

 

Claire
Consider yourself indulged
What are you going to do now!

 

Claire/Mike,

Commiserations! I feel the same. What I shall be glad about though is we shall be able to go into the supermarket without a hundred and one kids running around the aisles getting in everyone's way........... Why do some women think their kids are going to listen to them more if they raise their voices? In fact all it does is teach the kids that loud is the way to go!!

 

moyra
Tis an annoyance for sure.
Luckily we can get out early before the little people are out and about for the day.
What gets me going is the temper tandrums some kids throw in the supermarkets. Got to be a law about the noise level they produce..

 

That's when you look at your own kids and think you must have given birth to little angels because no matter what a merry dance they led you at home they knew that best behaviour was expected of them while out in public........:thumb:

 

One of my pet hates when I go to the supermarket which I to put off as much as I can.
Nothing against the little darlings, 'tis the training that is lacking from the parents.

You should have seen the traffic this morning thru Bedford.:eek: every little darling seemed to be taken to school by car.:rolleyes:

 

The school run

Considerations which seem to determine a suitable vehicle:

Number of children: the less children to be transported the larger the vehicle required.

Distance from school: the closer the home is to the school the larger the vehicle required

Other uses for the vehicle: the less other uses the larger the vehicle required.

From this it will be seen that living closer than 400 yards from the school with one school age child and no other use for the vehicle will require
at least a Humvee, second choice Porsche Cayenne Turbo S; this could explain why some do actually walk this distance, can't afford a Humvee nor a Porsche Cayenne!!
For an additional 200 yards from the school or with an additional child or with one additional use for the vehicle, then the requirement drops to an SUV or MPV with not less than a 3.5 litre turbo petrol engine,
For each additional 200yards, child or vehicle use the engine size may drop by half litre to a minimum of 1L.
If you habitually park, partway or completely, on the pavement then you will need a 4X4 off road vehicle.
If you have real difficulty in affording and SUV or MPV then consider a large Transit or similar inverse status symbol.
Vehicles to avoid; Smart cars, Scooters, Old style Minis, 3 wheelers or any other economical, easy to park or takes up little space vehicles

Procedure to be followed when taking the brat/little darling to school;
You will leave the house with insufficient time left to complete the mission.
You will drive to the school and on finding no available parking spaces will circle the surrounding streets until you have covered at least 4 times the distance from home to school.
Eventually somebody will vacate a parking space, this will be 200 yards further from the school than your house and will invariably be across 2 peoples' drives, both of whom wish to leave in the next few minutes.
You drag your screaming child to the school and deposit it; as you are about to leave you meet your next door neighbour and spend a minimum of 20 minutes gossiping, meanwhile the people you have blocked in are nearing apoplexy.
If there is a shift worker or sick person trying to sleep near where you want to gossip then you should opt for a row instead, unless your gossipee has an uncontrollable screaming child. Another option would be to carry on the gossip by shouting from opposite sides of the road. If there is a cross roads within a few yards then this will be by far the best location for a gossip as it gives more scope for blocking the busiest of the available pavements.

For the collection the procedure is similar to the above except that while you are gossiping your brat(s) will trash the neighbourhood gardens, and fences and terrorise pets. They will also attempt suicide runs into the roads causing further mayhem whilst “only” playing tag. As though this is not enough they tend to scream at the top of their voices, which in turn prompts you to try and scream louder than them.

Other procedures calculated to earn even more points;
Blocking junctions while you scan the adjacent roads for parking spaces.
Parking at junctions such that other drivers can not see traffic approaching until they are in the middle of the junction (car insurance companies love this practice)
Stopping your car in the middle of the road for a gossip with another driver.
Parking on the pavement with hazard lights flashing, this forces the few sane parents (often with pushchairs) to take to the road with consequent loss of life or limb.
NOTES, contrary to popular opinion double flashing indicator lights do not mean you can park on pavements or double yellow lines, not even in Mercs, Beemers or similar vehicles
Cyclists, pedestrians and non school run motorists, will frequently compare you to mentally challenged female members of the Bovine or Canine species, this is normal, .......... (and they are correct.)
Watching small women clambering into high cab vehicles can be interesting.


Points you should consider in favour of walking the kids to school:
It will help keep your waistline in check, and theirs!!
It will save you money.
It will be less stressful, you might even manage to speak to the kids other than to shut them up while you attempt to concentrate on your driving.
It will generate less toxic emissions.
BUT -- It will spoil or even destroy your image.

 

So Mike, tell me,

Do you happen to live on the same street as a school like myself perchance?

When I was putting the driveway in I was actually complained to for having the bare faced cheek to park the cement mixer on the driveway entrance approximately three or four maximum inches on the path. Her excuse-" That`s where I park!"


You just couldn`t make it up-she actually claimed the right to park across the entrance to my driveway.

 

Lol Mike. That's it in a nutshell.............just to think I started school when I was four and had to walk 2 miles to school and there were no pavements except for the last half mile. By the time my little sister started school thirteen years after me she was allowed a taxi to take her......I still feel I had the better deal all those lovely healthy walks in all weathers and seeing so much wild life on the way there and back again. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

 

Claire, how could you undermine her God given rights! (according to her philosophy that is) I hate the arrogance of some...........it is the chavs round here that have that attitude. It's me, me, me all the time. S*d anyone else. I wonder when they look back on life whether they will have any remorse for the selfishness of it all......I doubt it, Alas!! :(

 

@ John, when I originally wrote that there was less of a hue and cry re mobiles at the wheel, however you are so right, I'm almost tempted to edit ;-)