Idiot Sightings

-- IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not.. Four is larger than two..."
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS .

IDIOT SIGHTINGS:
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida, I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii. I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said "Cool!"


STAY ALERT! They walk among us... they REPRODUCE and apparently they vote too.......... God help the rest of us!

 

Very funny Red, I have met a few of them. There are a lot of them working for SKYtv

 

Years ago, there was a teenaged lad in our street that fancied the young lady across the road. The lad owned a small moped. One sunny afternoon he went out to his dad's garage where his moped was stored, and noticed the onject of his desires sat on a wall across the road enjoying the sunshine. The lad decided to impress her, so he started up his moped and decided to do a wheelie. There wasn't enough engine power to actually do it, so he threw his bodyweight back over as hard as he could, while twisting the accelerator grip to full throttle. The front wheel lifted and the lad lost his balance, ended up with both feet on the ground, arms in the air trying to hold onto the moped as it tried to pull away on its rear wheel only. Because of the position bike and rider were now in, the lad was having difficulty letting off the throttle without letting go. Out of control the moped set off on its back wheel with the lad running behind it, until both crashed in a heap into the garage door. It certainly got the attention of the young lady, who was nearly choking from laughing too hard.

You might wonder why I know so much detail about this set of events. The answer is simple. That lad was me.

I did become friends with the girl for a while, but as she preferred cool and composed chaps, I never won her heart.

 

We went to the Tatton Flower Show a few years ago, whilst there we visited a stall in the hall where a young lady (with a degree she laughed as she told us later) was selling china and pottery.
We liked some cups and saucers.

"How much are the cups?"

"£2.50"

"And the saucers?"

"£1"

"Hmm £3.50 per set."

"We'll have ten sets."

She got out a calculator.

 

Clueless---testosterone is a cruel hormone that only the strong can tame.

Having a degree does not come with a common sense diploma.


Now I recall another Idiot thing.

Was in Walmart few weeks ago. Saw Lemons were 3 for something $$ and then Limes were 2 for something $$. So got one plastic veggie/fruit clear see through bag, put 3 lemons in the bag and 2 limes in the bag. Continued shopping.
At the check out, presented my items, along with the combo lemon lime bag. HERE IT COMES. When the check out clerk came to my combo bag, instead of just leaving them in the bag and counting them through the see through bag, she had to tear open the bag and proceed to place first the three lemons in front of her and count, then the limes in front of her and count. So I said, why did you brake open the bag, you can count them in the bag. She said, this is the procedure we have to follow.

 

I`m sure I should have something to offer in this thread....

But I`m not going to:rotfl:
robert

 

Red, does the fog I saw obliterating the Golden Gate Bridge last year stretch all the way to hawaii?. :D
There really are some dumb people around.

 

But of course it does.---was your reply.

 

My favourite (and I apologise to any Americans who may be reading this), is this.
Our daughter lives near Windsor and we travel down quite often to stay with her other half ang the thee kids. A couple of years ago we went into Windsor and parked on the top road opposite the castle to go into a cafe for a coffee.
As I was getting the kids out of the car a party of Americans (unusual as these days it's mostly Japanese) were passing. I heard one of them say to her friend. "Wasn't it stupid to build the castle so close to the shops?" Mind you the castle stonework was very clean.

 

:hehe: Well obvious no clue.

I live in an area, that has tons of historic huge houses , of which originally had huge lots of land around them, so the same is her. As the selling off land, roads are put in. Its crazy.

Reminds me of a remark a women made as we were being shuttled over to our plane gate.
She said, It would have been nice to build the airport in consideration of the travel we have to go to get to the different gates. I just looked at here and said, well I guess their first priority is the size of the planes. :yho:

 

i was in the bank today, to arrange a small assurance quote.i said to the assurance/insurance/investor assistance person. i would like to open a small separate account and from my main account ,i would like a direct debit deducting £30 from my main account into a new account. and i could increase this at random .he got his calculator out and said £30 a month multiply
by 10 = £300 + £30 x 2 = £360. multiply by 10 years = £3600 all done on calculator!!!!.

GO TO THE TOP OF THE CLASS (ALBERT EINSTEIN!!!). music.