Life's Regrets

I heard "let her go" by passenger this morning on the radio.....

The memories came flooding back, I was 18, she was 14, we helped out at our local church hall and became friends? I liked her A LOT but that age difference and my peers saying she was too young........

Wish I had ignored all that, I realise now that I loved her and still think of her, I hope she's happy.

 

forgot to mention, she was gorgeous and a great kiss and cuddle - nothing more!

 

This should have been your song ...

 

Maybe Victoria but I often wish she was my life, I do love Carol though and would never swap her.

 

Been married for 42 years but Roy Orbison "In Dreams" always takes me to someone long ago.

 

Funny how things transpire. Fate and all that...

 

Okay, here's my take on this little nugget. We all had a first love. And I am glad I didn't go there. I made terrible decisions about prioities/choices and figure the opportunities I missed were more disasters averted.

We all change over the years and lots don't fare well. Good looks go. Etc etc...

If you're curious try looking her up on facebook. She might be doing a stretch or enjoy chewing gum without her teeth in but, big but, do not try to reach out. pandoras box...

People can drown in inches of water. Hot tub.... hot tub....

Just don't follow through no matter the curiosity or... Fundaising for the funeral will follow shortly...

 

I was always too shy to ask anyone out. The ones I missed out on do sometimes spring to mind. These are the ones with whom I might have stood a chance.

The first 2 where when I was about 18 and working in a shop. There was a girl I liked who worked in a shop a few doors up. I would often pop in and say hello. One day she came to see me. That should have been my cue. I, of course did nothing. I bumped into a her few years later. She was with a guy and pushing a buggy. I have never seen her since.

The second must have been roughly the same time. The shop was looking for weekend staff. Being the senior member of staff I got to review and vet the application forms. One applicant was a 15 year old girl. She was pretty and very easy to talk to. From her application I discovered that her birthday was due fairly soon so I went to see her. (This is something that you could get arrested for these days). Any way she invited me in. Her parents were there and were very hospitable. They asked if we were going out anywhere. We both said no. That was that. A very short relationship. Again I had a good opportunity and I blew it.

The next was rather stupid and quite sickening. I had a part time evening job at the local greyhound stadium while I saved up to go to university. While I was at university my father sadly passed away just a few days before I was due to come home for xmas. One day while I was working in the shop over the holiday season, a young lady who had also worked at the stadium came to offer her condolences. A very special moment. I asked her if she wanted to meet up to which she agreed. I couldn't find a pen and paper so I went looking for one. It took me so long to find one that she had gone by the time I had reappeared. I never saw her again.

The last one that springs to mind would have been about 3 years after the previous one. I was working as a coach driver doing a scheduled service between airports. At one of the ticket offices was a young lady who I found I could chat to comfortable. She used to let me sit on the chair in her booth. I don't know if anyone else was ever given this courtesy. We would occasionally discuss the town I lived in and how nice it was. Not once did I suggest that I might like to show her the sights myself. She might have said yes or she might have said no. I will never know. Once I had left that job I had no reason to ever go back that way.

A few years later I met a lady who was a passenger on a coach trip I was driving. After we got home I looked her up. That took a lot of courage. I thought I was on safe ground which gave me some encouragement. We had a strange relationship which lasted only for a few weeks on and off. It wasn't quite what I was hoping for but at least I had bucked the trend.

I never got to ask anybody out ever again. I was in my 30s and not meeting anyone. The matchmaker sights I had joined were not baring fruit. In the end I chucked it all in and threw myself into online dating. I met my current partner online. I have now been with her for 12 years. That is a lot of shared experiences and a lot of memories to cherish.

I remember alluding to this in another thread somebody had started a while back. As @Vince (sorry if I hijacked your post. I have a habit of doing that) said above, looking back on lost love does not anyway diminish the quality of the relationship I have now. I grew too old to start a family of my own but that didn't stop me becoming a grandad and it the best feeling ever. I have 3 (out of 6) of them staying here at the moment. Whatever may or may not have came from those lost opportunities, I have what I want now and I'm happy.

Ok. Enough. It must be late at night else I wouldn't be writing this stuff. I'm sorry for all the heavy soul searching. I guess having put it out there it's a bit late to take it all back.

This kind of discussion always reminds me of a part in Star Trek 5. I think it's quite apt and quite philosophical.

G.

 

I can truly understand what you are saying. IMO i's lovely that even now you still think affectionately of her.

I met Valerie at a friend's home. It really was love at first sight. My main thoughts were. She's mine, even if I have to take her from another. Wrong, I know, but it's claimed the heart is the seat of motivation.

By the end of the day. I had learned Val was still at Technical college. Time raced by. My dad worked in the Royal Arsenal Woolwich. He'd often mention his workmate Jack, always whistling military marches. Jack was later identified as being Val's granddad. Neighbours to my sister, their gardens backed onto each other. Here lived Val's uncle & aunt. Val's mum was against us marrying, suggesting Val met more men. It gave me much pleasure when phoning mother in law to say she was now a granny and that Kerry, our first, had taken thirteen months to arrive.

Val & I were married for fortynine years. Had two daughters and never had a row. Val sadly failed to wake up after heart surgery 9.6.2010 YES I still love my Valerie.

So my friend. Hold onto your memories. They are yours and no one can ever take them away from you.

 

A part of me regrets from being a professional singer. At a early age i could sing, when i was in my teens and i saw how singers and musicians got into drugs and booze and i didn't want to be a part of it.

I don't regret what i have done but i think what if.

 

Thank you Armandii, i can't play any musical instruments or be able to dance if i wanted to.
You must be able to do something than that?
Sorry about your wife, you did all that you could do.
A friend of mine, her daughter has it and she's only 40, got a little girl and husband.
You've got to look to the future, that's what she probably wants you to do.

 

Oh, this has got my mind ticking over....

As a child, I desperately wanted to be a vet. I have always had a way with animals, and can handle most, be they wild, farm or fully domesticated. But I never managed to grasp the periodic table. Even now, a girl wanting to go to veterinary school has to be very good at chemistry, etc. 30+ years ago, I would have had to have been head-and-shoulders top in all the sciences at my school, in the town, probably in the county.

But.... if I had followed my dream, I wouldn’t have gone to the university I did, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to learn Welsh, I wouldn’t have been there to stop my friend from jumping, when she heard she’d failed her degree, I wouldn’t have got into the computing world when I did, or met my husband, or .... the list goes on and on...

When it all comes down to it, “who I am” is made up as much from what I haven’t achieved, as what I have.

And I love the song “Let her go”! It’s had me in tears many a time...

 

I have two regrets, 1. That my late wife Jenny & me didn't grow old together.
2. That my partner Maureen & me didn't have longer than 4 years together.

But ha now I have my daughter Maria & Grandaughter Kat living with me and seeing Kat growing up into a lovely young lady.