Marriage Quotes.....

With a family wedding coming up in October, our happy couple are looking for marriage quotes, serious or funny and definitely 'clean'.

That's opened up a can of worms eh!!!

I'm getting ready to duck on this one!

 

So if the bride wears white because it is the happiest day of her life.......Why does the groom wear black ?

 

My Father's, at our wedding .....

'Of course we don't look on this as losing a daughter, more as gaining a ..... telephone, bathroom, garage, overdraft ....'

 

Best man to groom during stag night -

"What are you going to wear, morning suit or kilt?"
Groom - "Kilt".
Best man - "What's the tartan then?"
Groom - "She's wearing white"

 

What is the longest sentence in the English Language?

"I Do"

Thoughts on Marriage:

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

3. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

4. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

5. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

6. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

7. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

8. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

9. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

 

Advice to groom, " You can`t be happy all your life, you have to get married sometime ". Also, " If you want to know what your wife is going to look like 10 years from now, look at her mother ". Advice to groom, " If in doubt,RUN ".:D:D:D

 

Advice from my dad before I got got married:

"Never give a woman as much as you can, because the more you give her, the more she'll want" (not rude, he was referring to material things).

Remark from my dad aftermy wife and I signed the register, mumbled into my ear so that nobody else could hear what he said:

"You've done it now lad!".

 

Thanks everyone, obviously a subject that brings out sexist quotations.
Now on a more serious note, the quotes will be re-produced and placed on tables at the reception. Humour is good by all means, but it needs to be suitable for all tastes.

 

"We paid for this expensive 4 course meal, so you'd better of brought a good present !"

 

"Oh great you came"

 

" Where's your husband ? only we're a bridesmaid missing ? "