New Year - new country - new project!

Apologies - I know I have been rather quiet over the last year or so.

My mum had dementia for a number of years, and in 2023 I spent as much time in the UK as I could, visiting her, encouraging her to eat her meals, trying to make her smile, etc. In between visiting her in the care home, I worked on the family garden, even though it was just “tickling the surface” after 20+ years of neglect.
Sadly, in December 23 she contracted pneumonia, and passed away. After much discussion, my brother agreed to me inheriting the family home. So 2024 was many more visits, clearing the house, and working out how to make it suitable for the 21st century (eg drive too narrow to get a modern car in, and open the car door to be able to get out!)

So we have a building project on our hands, and meanwhile, I am looking at the garden, and trying to decide what is best to do!
I knew that the first priority was to take out the overgrown thuja hedge, the “dwarf” conifers, and the lethal pyracantha hedges…

Some of the dwarf conifers, and the smaller pyracantha


...and after

On the other side of the garden

...and after - the garden is suddenly 10 foot wider!

 

Sorry about your mother. Good luck with your new project which will give you a lot to do in the coming year. Happy New Year to you.

 

Thank you, @waterbut. Here’s wishing you a happy, healthy and productive 2025!

 

Sorry to hear about your mother's declining health and passing, it must have been very distressing for you.
I'm slow on the pick-up ... are you going to stay in England now, or will you be going back to Belgium ?
Anyway it's good that you are getting some work done to the house and garden, and I hope you'll be happy there if you stay

 

Good to see you back, Sian. I remember you had a difficult time with your Mother and lots of to-ing and fro-ing. My condolences over your loss.

You have done wonders so far in the garden and I look forward to seeing further progress. Did you sell up in Belgium? Is your lovely Weimaraner with you? ... "Grey suede dogs" I always call them.

 

Hello Sian, happy New Year. So sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. You've worked wonders already and the best bit of the transformation is yet to come....creating your own special garden Bon courage!

 

Happy New Year, Michael!
It was a difficult time, that is certainly true. Most last year I was just going through the motions, getting by. I am hoping 2025 will have more joy, and more laughter!
We are still living in Belgium, whilst the work is done in the house. But we were planning to retire back to the UK, and the family home is in such a lovely area, it seemed silly to pass up the opportunity.

 

We haven’t yet fully moved over. It seemed silly to move into rented accommodation- difficult to find with a dog- when we have a perfectly good home here. Yes, we still have our little grey ghost, who is finally growing out of the monster stage, into a generally pleasant-to-live-with dog….

 

Thank you @noisette47! We hope it will be both our garden, and a reminder of times past…

 

Wow that is a lot of hard work you've already done. I'm sorry to hear about your Mum. I sometimes wonder what thoughts run through their heads and if they feel mentally tortured. She's at peace now.

Looks like you're going to have a fresh start when you've finished clearing all of the overgrown greenery and I look forward to seeing any more progress you make.

Hugs, Lori

 

As well as taking things out, we have also made some positive steps.

Seven new fruit trees have been planted in the lower garden. A quince at the lowest end, as it is tolerant of flooding; then some apple trees around the 5 metre flood mark, which can get flooded for a day or two, 3 times last year; and a plum and greengage on an area that has never flooded. We wanted to get them in, especially the plum trees, as soon as possible, so we have a chance of getting some fruit off them!

 

Hi Sain nice to see you again sorry to hear about your mum . Looks like you've got a lot on your hands there , projects like these tend to give great satisfaction when looking back on old pictures I hope this year is much better for you .

 

Thank you @CanadianLori! You’re right, I’m afraid that Mum might have been aware of what she had lost in the last 12 months. Now she is at peace.

I can’t take the credit for the hard work done. I got a local tree surgeon in, and he vastly underestimated the amount of work involved, the density of the pyracantha, etc. I lost track of how many cubic metres of woodchip they took to the local allotments….

But it’s cleared now. I’m leaving it open for the winter rains to soak into the ground after years of coverage keeping the area dry. Where the fencing is my responsibility, it will all be replaced, before compost is dug in, and more fruit trees planted against the fence.

 

Thank you @Perki . It’s good to be back, and I feel amongst friends again! I found the “new garden - new project” thread really helpful in reminding me of the progress. Hopefully this will be as eye-opening when I look back in a few years’ time .

 

Hi @Sian in Belgium

I am relatively new to this forum, so we won't have spoken before. I am really sorry for what your mother and you went through. But the work you have planned sounds like a very interesting and rewarding project!

Regarding the garden specifically, I would make a list of the things I need, observe where the light falls now that the conifers are not there and start to come up with a plan for the key aspects e.g. borders. I don't think I would try to decide on every single plant to go in each border right away, as that might be a mammoth task. I would focus on the basics (e.g. borders, maybe a secondary sitting area, a pergola, some trees?) and add smaller plants over time. I would make an exception though if I wanted to get a plant or plants as a memorial. Perhaps your mother had a soft spot for particular ones?

All the best.