Poetic Vine Weevil - The Evil Weevil

Written by my sister


The Evil Weevil (otiorhynchus sulcatus – the vine weevil)


I saw an evil weevil that was eating up my plants.
I watched that evil weevil as it did a little dance.
I went to swat the creature but it raised its scaly head
and eying me with sorrow said, “I’d rather not be dead.

For after all what can I do? I’m just a common pest
and chewing up the leaves of plants is what I do the best.
To strawberries that are in pots I really am no stranger
but best of all in garden plants I like the pink hydrangea.

If you must kill then go and hunt my hundred little grubs.
They probably are munching on the root base of your shrubs.
I know you think I am the most imperfect of all mothers
but if you get my hundred, well you know, there’s lots of others.

My lovely little larvae, so soft and plump and white,
will bore into your tubers in the middle of the night.
Their pale brown heads will dig in deep, then dig in deep again
to ruin the begonias and that pretty cyclamen.

Now you should realise you know, this is the way for us.
I really do not understand you making such a fuss.”
I answered the vine weevil, “I know you might think that
but I don’t think the way you do,” and squashed the creature flat.

 

I'll tell her, thanks