rules for pets

To be postedVery Lowon the refrigerator door-nose height.
Dear dogs and cats,the dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.The other dishes are mine and contain my food.Please note,placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish,nor do i findthat aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.The stairway was not designed by Brands Hatch and is not a race track.Beating me to the bottom is not the object.Tripping me doesnt help because i fall faster than you can run.I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.I am verry sorrow about this,Do not think i will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep,it is not neccessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible,i also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximise space is nothing but sarcasm.for the last time ,there is not a secret exit from the bathroom,if by some miracle i beat you there and manage to get the door shut,it is not necceessary to claw whine,meow,try to turn the knob or get you paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.I must exit through the same door i entered.also,i have been using the bathroom for years---canine of feline attendance is not required,the proper order is kiss me then go and smell the other dogs or cats bum i cannot stress this enough!to pacify you my dear pets ,i have posted the following message on our front door.

as follows.

To all Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets.
1 They live here you dont.
2 If you dont want there hairs on your clothes,stay off the furnitue.
3I like my pets a lot better than i like most people
4To you its an animal.to me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short,hairy,walks on all fours and doesnt speak clearly.
5 Remember; in many ways ,dogs and cats are better than kids because they :-

1 Eat less
2 Are easy to train
3 Dont ask for money all the time
4 Normally come when called
5 Never ask to drive the car
6 Dont smoke or drink
7 Dont have to buy the latest fashions
8 Dont wear you clothes
9 If they get pregnant you can sell their babies

 

nice one macleaf, wouldnt mind that on my front door :D :D

 

Love it, macleaflet, I agree 100% ....