Seven heavenly virtues needed to be a gardener

Woo was kind enough, in another thread, to say that he appreciated my philosophy, so these ideas on the heavenly virtues needed by a gardener are dedicated to wit and to Woo.

Pride. If I were a modest man, I wouldn't be singing the praises of my gardening virtues. But i'm not. So I will. So there.

Lust. The pursuit of sexual fulfillment is what drives my garden. All my randy plants are trying to outdo each other with flowers in their urge to fulfill their secret desire for seed. And there is me, deadheading them and calling for 'More Lust - More Lust'.

Sloth. One of my most useful characteristics is laziness. I grow plants so close together that I don't have to weed. And I put small seedlings straight into huge pots to avoid all that potting on nonesense. And when you have plants in huge pots, they too grow huge and it avoids all that trouble of filling pots with lots of small plants.

Envy. Whenever I see or hear a plant that is better than anything I have - I want it. Envy is the friend of all gardeners.

Meanness. Such a sound trait for any gardener. I only grow plants from seed or cuttings and won't buy them. I reuse all my old compost from last year's pots. I hate to throw anything away - even last years foliage. I would rather compost it and keep it. And I reuse all my old pots and labels. I did once buy some string for tying up plants, but that was only because I had used up all my neighbour's and he wouldn't let me have any more!

Forgetfulness. I have always had a bad memory - though I can't remember it ever having caused a problem in the past. Being too lazy to remember lots of facts, I like to try and remember the underlying principles and from these you can draw as many conclusions as you like.

Gluttony.. This is my favorite and most endearing attribute. I can sit for hours in the garden with a cup of coffee and a piece of cake or two, admiring the plants. All that dedicated study has resulted in such a refined sense of what plant should be where and what should be moved, that I would be genuinely tempted to move them round but for my Sloth.

Am I the only person blessed with such useful attributes, or are there others?

 

Brilliant!

 

I have just realised it was Roders who commentated on my 'philosophy' - my apologies to both you and Woo. An example of an my eighth heavenly virtue - 'Getting it wrong all the time'. :D

 

Mind you, those are the Seven Deadly Sins. Or are you being ironic!

 

Aaron - Its my perverted sense of humour. :hehe:

 

I'm with you on the SLOTH PeterS - although I think it applies to me more than you.
I like to sit in the midst of what has been done - and talk a great game about what is happening next.
Yes, there is a place for sloth as a virtue - I just call it the planning committee as I sit there with whatever I am drinking.

 

What a creative mind - in my experience those who garden with flare have all those attributes. How astute of you to put them down in words.

I'm just a bit short on the meanness, happily spending every spare penny on plants! It is a bit of a guilty pleasure though, and no where near as satisfying as growing from seed.

 

Thanks Victoria. When I started off I bought lots of plants, and spent lots of money, as my garden was quite empty. But over a period of time I have acquired most of the plants that I wanted and have room for. Many came by dividing ones that I had previously bought.

A great interest now is in growing unusual things - such as five different types of Echium, and lots of different types of Salvia. Because they are unusual, you generally won't see these in any garden centres so seed is the only way of aquiring them. Having discovered seed, I have found that whilst a garden centre may stock 500 different types of plant, you can access another 10,000 or more via seed. The other joy of seed is that it is so easy to exchange with other people through the post.

 

I'm approaching the divide perennials stage soon I think - I too started off spending a lot of money (and still do!) as the garden was empty when I moved here. Now those plants will bear 'fruit' and next Spring I'll have to lift a number of things to make room for others that are expanding (and for a more colourful display!).

My one 'problem' is lack of a greenhouse or indeed anywhere to grow more than a few things from seed. We have little or no suitable windowsills inside that could take more than a couple of pots of seeds, apart from one room...that gets hot, even in winter. This does restrict me in the tender perennial route, but I do try Another reason not to bother with many vegetables (and I don't have the room in the garden!).

 

Such simple wisdom Peter,so much truth and humour in one post.
Looks like we all enjoyed and learned from it.......:thumb:

 

Thank you Roders - dedicated to you really - but also to Woo - the wise old owl. 0)

 

Brilliant. I loved it. You are very clever :luv:

 

Thanks Granny - its my mad sense of humor that keeps me sane. :D

 

Excellent.