Tales from the allotment shed "Aggie" cockgrave

Even all,
I did try to send this thread last week but for some reason it didnt come up and so i'd re-do it again tonight so here goes.

After the first lady had opened the door "so to speak" in women becoming members of the "Mens" allotment it was'nt long before we had a few more ladies on the scene,

Allotments are like any other form of people's meeting places no matter if it's the work place or a social club darts team, some old farts will give the women the cold shoulder and if the ladies are the kind that shy away from such nasty people this sort of "old fart will" will always make life harder for the newcomer than need be.

Aggie cockgrave.

Aggie was a hard woman of 7 kids, "all girls" her husband was a dock worker and a drinker, he had no interest in gardening and tobe honest once i'd got to know Aggie i was amazed from her life style that she ever got into gardening "But im pleased she did.

Aggie had one bad problem! She had a very bad time remembering things like peoples names, & items names.

One saturday sunny morning i was riding the old bike in the dirrection of the allotment when i saw Aggie walking along the road going to the same place, "the allotment"

Hi Aggie, whats with the walking then?

Oh the bloody cars got gear problems, the baldy bloke in the garage said the wire mesh has worn out on the 1st & 3 gear so he's going to fix it but it wont be ready for a week, so im legging it until then.

She, continued,
Ive had a real crappy week but some good news is my youngest has got a job "thank god".

Oh thats good "i said"

Whats she doing then?

She's working in that place that sells everything from wall paper/ paint, curtain material and fancy stuff for the house.

She started on monday, she only got the job because she went to school
(when she bothered to go that is) with the owners daughter,

I thought i'd pop in there on friday and get some stuff for the hall,
He (that was her husband) got some rolls of paper from work but it was all different, one had sheep eating grass and the other had fish & chips on plate's all over it,
So i thought as this place she works in has all house stuff i'd go and get some.

Oh did you get the paper you wanted?

NO.
I saw this other stuff and before i could blink this snotty woman came up to me "she didnt know i was judy's mum" and said look and learn!

Madam can i be of help?

Ye I want a 9 foot dildo rail.

All the girls behind the counter just got on their knees and hid behind the counter laughing,

Well wouldnt you laugh if some snotty bitch talked to you like that and calling you madam?

We got to the allotment and Aggie made her way to her plot,

One of the lads said, i wouldnt cross her if you paid me a million pounds she's as hard as nails that one is,

Bongy, said, Ive been told they send the S.A.S. to her house for training

But Aggie proved them all wrong as time went by, she didnt grow a lot of veg just a few lettuce, and anything i passed on to her with full instructions how to plant it and every time she'd say " Go on lad, now you've told me how to do it "you do it so i'll know its right".

But she made a nice lawn, with flowers around the edges and most sundays she'd sit outside her net-curtain tool shed reading the "News of the world, smoking her favourit fags.

She was no trouble to anyone "anyone who was daft enough to look for trouble didt go in "Aggies" direction.

Just another allotment member i once had the pleasure to know.

Hope you new comers to the allotment scene enjoy these tales from the allotment tol shed.
Good gardening to you all.