The chapter you missed.

Sorry if i've put this in the wrong place, i really didn't know where i should write it, but i figured the muppet show might be accurate, what with me being a Muppet anall.

This isn't anything special just a bit of a catch up thread for me to let those who have asked what my progress has been like that i am indeed okay, but things are getting interesting.

I suppose most importantly is the health update, well my appointment with the specialist came around.

I was right. All these years i've spent with doctors fobbing me off, i was right.
I have officially, says the specialist - and best one [so i'm told] in the UK, have M.E. In your face, all you snickering bar steward doctors. No offense to anyone in the medical practice on here, just to the ones who insisted i should take paracetamol and go home.

And whats more, he was glad i did the research and persevered to be seen by a specialist, because i could have gotten worse than i am now, perminantly wheelchair or bed bound. Its because i've had to push myself this far that i'm as bad as i am.

Argh. Finally i'm going to get care and support, and help with everything i need, and so will Darren with his care for me.

But, it turns out there more to it. After doing some initial questionaires, an hour or so answered a huge range of questions, etc, he has also diagnosed me with SAD and Agerophobia. I knew i had anxiety problems, and i knew i had fears of ageropbic nature, but apparently, i scored high up on the scale with these tests, and he feels i really do need to see someone about it all, he thinks Physcotherapy is needed. I was relieved to hear this. I didn't think i was at that level, but when all my behaviours and problems, concerned, fears, etc were listed together, it made sense. And i need to shake it. I know i do. But from the history and background analysis, we both think this is deep rooted from very young childhood issues, and is not really linked to the M.E bar the clear stress that relates to M.E, everything else has its own catagory apparently.

On top of that, he says i have some definate depression, but as depression is seen in all the other 3 of my conditions, he wants to leave it as part of them for the time being, but says it could potentially turn out to be a forth seperate issue for me in due course.

All in all, despite the sunshine, its all a bit much to take in. I mean, its nothing new, but suddenly to have someone AGREE and also tell you for sure whats going on, thats somewhere between being smacked in the face and weeping with relief. And its emotionally hefty.
But at the same time, i get more attention medically and support wise, as the specialist said that he is taking a particular long term interest in me and my well being, as it is apparently a somewhat unique or at least unreported or studied situation, so instead of the usual once a year 'yeah, no new news, keep on claiming benefits and try this form of therapy' visit for most M.E sufferers, he wants to see me every 3 months, and is arranging a fair amount for me, so i understand, but informed me that due to the cirmcumstances, he wanted to discuss me with his 'team' and come up with a plan for me?

So yeah, i'm special. Go me! The extra attention can only help in the long run.
Actually now its all 'out' i can see clearer how much i do freak out, and how tiresome it is for people around me, and how it just digs my hole deeper. So i'm trying to keep my mind on other things, and combat things that have become fearful to me. Its all hurdles but i can see it now, didn't really see it as unordinary before.

ANYWAY.

John is finally moving out. Hurrah! Stupid, rude, horrible piece of work lodger. Just becoming quite a creep. He is due to leave in about 3 weeks, but as he wont talk to us about it, just the same as anything, we cant be sure. its been very difficult dealing with my issues, maintaining the house and living happily with Darren with him around, my 'safe place' is constantly intruded by him and everything i do is sniggered at and it makes me feel even more insecure. Darren has given up asking him not to, hes just not a respectful human being and we're dealing with it.
Tired of being his maid, and Darrens tired of looking after him, he'll realise once he moves out just how much he has to do for himself and what a good deal he was abusing here.

We're doing the house up pretty well, although we're limited until stupidhead moves out, but kitchen is coming along, garden obvously, the spare room furniture is being freecycled and the rats are moving indoors so i can relax in there with them, all in all, its becoming our coupley home, our nest! :D So exciting and refreshing.

 

In order to get myself into a more focus happy Sarah mind frame, i've joined an Art Society, very daring knowing i can panic with new people, and the are lovely, so i'm doing a lot more art work! So might be posting a bit more of that too!

The rats and cat are all happy, Artemis spent 2 weeks on holiday with uncle Neil and has come back more mischivous. This actually isn't that much of a surprise given how mischivious Neil is!

We had a wonderful time in Bermuda despite spending a lot of it in a wheelchair, and here are a few photos to prove it! There were glorious beaches, the locals are so happy, it was fantastic seeing my best friend out there, the native wildlife was so exotic as were the plants, i spent most of the time hanging out of the car like a spaniel yelling "Whats the one with the red flowers?!?" "Thats goooorgeous, wish it would grow in England!"
They had a lovely little zoo, plus an aquarium, some caves with fanastic underground water systems and stalictites and mites, which we investigated, and we even fed turtles out there!








My best friend Sacha in a gorgeous tree.


A 'Kisskidee' - thats the noise it makes!




All houses are brightly painted!


These trees were all over the island and carpeted everything around it in a thick layer of red petals. I was totally in love with them.




Happy Darren :D


A lot of the produce is grown on the island to cut on import prices, so a lot of people have random allotments on the side of the road to contribute or grow their own! I only just caught this one as we drove past!








Lizards are everywhere, all shapes sizes and colours, i loved them!


Mingooooooos!

 

Haha talk about good shot, eh? :D






Darren? An ice cream fan? Don't know what you're talking about...














Taking the 'smile' prompt a bit far...

 

Got to love Bermuda logic...




Us!



Please excuse how awkard i look in photos, i dont do photographs very well at the moment, but at least evidence that i'm there!








Sacha and I were watching lizards on this mahoosive tree.


Where we stayed.








Pushing me in my wheelchair around the maritime museum.


I want him in my garden! Will keep the cats out won't he :D

 

Whiley
Wow...
I hung on every word you said and must admit I was made up.
I reckon you have done a brave thing telling the world of your situation and Im sure you will in some way feel better for doing it.
It also makes me feel very, very lucky to have reached retirement without any major health issues.
I have seen many a younger person throughout my working life suffering from variuos ailments and it never fails to amaze me the resolve some people have to overcome their particular hurdle.
My wife and myself wish you all the very best for your future, whatever it brings your way.
Oh, yes, great holiday pictures.
Capney

 

magnificent places/pictures, Whiley: it must have been a dream holiday - and welcome back !!!

 

Lovely pics, Whiley ... what a fantastic place. Just love your sunset picture with the pink sky and yellow streaks ... with your permission I may paint it. The weather stone is great!

The tree you like is a Delonix reginae I believe.

Thanks for sharing your holiday with us.

 

Capney thank you so much for your well wishes, its been a bit of a rollarcoaster of a life so far but it appears to be settling from hence forth.

Thank you so much for your lovely comments re the photos and the holiday, and for the ID LoL! You are more than welcome to paint that sunset, can't wait to see the finished article!

 

That sunset picture of yours would make a really nice Lunapic subject

 

A whatty?

 

Lunapic - c'mon!

Whiley, I so feel for you and am very pleased you got a decent doctor at last. Hope his treatment works out for you.

And the pictures have a great "wow" factor! Thank you for sharing them.

 

Hi Ratty
Well it sounds like you have turned a corner in life regarding your health diagnosis and the dodgey lodger. That must be a good feeling. I wish you well for all your tomorrows.
Excellent pics from your hols too. I am SOOO jealous.

 

BOO ! Welcome back Whiley ,see you had a good 'un (holiday)

 

Whiley
I have taken the liberty of processing your sunset with Lunapic
Enjoy

 

Ah thats jazzy! :D Have just shown a few people and they're all jolly impressed! Thanks for doing that!

Thank you for the support and the welcomes, i felt you deserved to know how things went especially with my health considering you supported me through everything these past few years, you wonderful people! I adore you all so much, in fact i often realise i've shared more on here about my feelings than i generally tell friends and family around me!