The club next door

What do we think of this situation:

For 3 and a half years, I've lived next door to the church club. That means I can hear bingo happening, and at weekends I can hear their music in my house on an evening. I've only ever complained once, after I found rubbish from one their private functions dumped on my drive, and after complaining, the chairman came to see me personally and we had a very civilised chat and got on very well, and since we met we always say hello to each other when we pass on another in the street. All very civilised.

So when my mam decided to host a party but didn't know where to get a big enough hall, I suggested the club. They took her booking over the phone, so my mam went ahead and booked and paid for the entertainment and the catering, then tonight, came to the club to pay for the hall. That's when it all went pair shaped. Her and her new chap were talked down to at the bar, then she was told that the booking was subject to the approval of the committee. The woman at the bar then went off to have an impromptu committee meeting before coming back 5 minutes later to say the booking could not be taken, no apology or anything.

Needless to say my mam is fuming, but so am I. I've made so many allowances for them, turned a blind eye so many times, and then they decide to be snotty.

So the big question is, should I continue to turn a blind eye, or should I discuss with them about the stoppy backs I know they have way beyond their licence, their failure to meet health and safety regulations with their usually locked fire doors etc, or the fact that I often have to clean up their mess from my garden?

 

I'd speak to the bloke who came to your house first and see what he says. There might have been a misunderstanding although after being talked down to, your Mum might prefer to have her party elsewhere anyway.

I don't think I'd be very happy about having to clean up any mess from their parties and the fact you have to do it often is not on. You've got two very young children and you shouldn't have to put up with noise from "stay behinds" because they're not adhering to the licensing rules not to mention the carp left in your garden. Turning a blind eye isn't doing you any favours.

 

Sorry, I think I didn't explain that point well. The rubbish on the drive only happened once, and that's when I complained. The other rubbish situation is much more trivial, like small items of litter or occasionally cigarette ends blowing in on the wind.

 

I would try to find out the reason why, as calmly and politely as possible. Maybe talk to the previous bloke? If you don't get anywhere, start bringing in the factors JWK mentions.

 

If I see the top man, I'll have a word.

 

Hmm, ok, I'll brave being the "alternative" voice on this one.

Let me be clear that I've understood the situation first though:

- you moved into the property knowing it was beside a church hall; you were ok with that.

- on one occasion you had cause to complain about some rubbish on your drive (it's not clear if you also brought up the matter of noise/"afters" sessions/health and safety - but, as you've not mentioned it, I'm going to assume you didn't because it wasn't on your priority list?): had a civilised chat and all was fine and dandy.

- on a business level it's all gone wrong for your Mam and that has caused (understandably!) an upset.

- as a result of the business issue, you wish to know if you should now address the *afters*/licensing issues, health and safety, rubbish?

To be fair, these are two separate issues: your Mam's business dealings; the clubs licensing issues etc., and the two should not be confused or merged. To do so could devalue the root of your primary upset: they messed your Mam about! - and could be viewed as being vindictive (presumably you will continue to live there for some while yet?)

That's a completely different issue and I would recommend that you don't address it at the same time (for the reason outlined above).

I would make a point of writing to that man regarding the issues with your Mam booking the venue. If you put it in writing, he will have to respond in writing.

Do you mean if there are enough complaints from one neighbour? (Who the church committee could argue is merely complaining as sour grapes because of a mix up with the venue and his Mam? Which is another reason clue would be wise to separate the two issues).

Or, do you mean if there are enough people making complaints? (Which is my understanding of "enough" complaints?)

 

I don't want to close them down, for vindictive or any other reason.

I have had sufficient good reason to complain on more than one occasion but have not bothered to do so, because I believe in live and let live.

The issue was not a 'business issue'. My mam was told the room was available and that it was booked, only later when my mam went to settle up, in advance, did they change their rules all of a sudden. The lady in question was heard to tell off several people for no good reason, and even told my mam's companion "shut up, you're not even a regular", to which he replied "I've been coming here for 30 years". If it had been purely business, it would have been civil. The woman would not have had need to shout at people, and I would not be coming out of my front door in response to a call from my mam that they were caught up in some 'escalating trouble' next door (yes, for the first time in a very long time, I was prepared to use force, because it sounded to me like there was a real and imminent threat - thankfully it didn't come to that). The issue was clearly one of spite and 'clickiness' of the club.

None of it matters now though. We've all calmed down, and on my suggestion we walked down the road to another club to see if they would bail us out, and they have 2 rooms, one of which is definitely available and the other, larger room is 'probably available'. Unlike the first club, the second one had a very welcoming atmosphere, and they refused to even take the booking til they'd had chance to work out the logistics and see if it could fit in with their other bookings, but the chap did say that if we were stuck and the big room was not available, he'd give us the smaller room for free.

 

I'm not saying that you are, what I was suggesting is that *they* could interpret your actions as being vindictive

I understood that makes it a business transaction?

That's excellent news!

 

Its turning quite comical now. I joked to my missus today that my mam is organising a secret rave in a field. We have to keep guessing where its at right up until the last minute. This is based on the fact that it has changed again. The man at the other club apparently dithered a bit, so my mam book somewhere else instead.

I can just see it, I'll be driving along looking for clues cunningly placed in hedgerows, and a lycra clad blonde lady will suddenly appear out of the shadows, mumble some hint, then vanish back into the shadows. I reckon we're all going to get muddy in a field and then beat up by the police

 

Agreed!