The Mexican Maid....

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by Marley Farley, May 30, 2011.

  1. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    The Mexican Maid
    The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.



    She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

    Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze."

    "The first is that I iron better than you."

    Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

    Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

    Wife: "Oh yeah?"

    Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

    Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

    Maria: "Jor hozban did"

    Wife increasingly agitated:

    "Oh he did did he???"

    Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."




    Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.
    "And did my husband say that as well?"

    Maria: "No Señora...... The gardener did."
    Wife: "So how much do you want    ?"

    :rofl::rofl:






     
    Marley Farley, May 30, 2011
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  2. roders

    roders Total Gardener

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    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Alice

    Alice Gardener

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    :OUCH::stirpot::runhills::rofl::oopss:
     
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  4. Phil A

    Phil A Guest

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    Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving nearly-raw juicy bacon, all sorts of bacon.

    "Hey, Pepe" says the first Mexican, "ees a bacon tree! We're saved!!"

    So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree. As he gets to within five feet, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets.

    His friend drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.
    "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

    With his last breath Pepe calls out:
    "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a bacon tree... ... ees a ham bush!"
     
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      Phil A, May 30, 2011
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    • Marley Farley

      Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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      :heehee: Good one Zig.. :rofl::rofl:
       
      Marley Farley, May 30, 2011
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    • Phil A

      Phil A Guest

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      A newly wed couple were just getting ready for bed when the wife says "Darling, I have a confession to make, I used to be a Hooker"

      The husband is quite shocked by this but finds himself strangely turned on by it so he asks if she could tell him some more about it.

      She replies, "My name was Gareth and I used to play for Cardiff"
       
      Phil A, May 30, 2011
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