Untitleable

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Loofah, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. Loofah

    Loofah Admin Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2008
    Messages:
    14,617
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Guildford
    Ratings:
    +25,633
    Have just had the most gut wrenching news and experience and I apologise but I want to unburden a bit.
    Yesterday morning we got the news that my fiancée's sister had lost her baby. She had been due last week, discovered it had stopped moving and was given the very sad news at hospital that she would have to go through hours of labour to a dead baby.
    All families are naturally distraught when they should have been celebrating.
    Having visited the couple with their deceased son last night I can say it is one of the most horrifying scenes I've encountered and I'm sorry to say I've seen a few.
    Everyone wants to make it better but of course we can't - there's nothing to do but get them through it. His name is Leo.
    I went through this with one of Erica's friends a couple of years ago and one of my close colleagues some years ago again. It seems so cruel and we know what's coming and there's nothing we can do. A hateful situation and I cannot imagine how the parents feel, it's beyond words.
    We can't do anything but support them and we'll do everything we can. I'd like to find a plant called Leo but my initial efforts have just come up with Rosa Leo's Eye. This will be a good choice although out of season and I'd appreciate any other suggestions you might have.
    Sorry to have upset anyone but thankyou for letting me unburden.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 5
    • Like Like x 1
    • JWK

      JWK Gardener Staff Member

      Joined:
      Jun 3, 2008
      Messages:
      33,053
      Gender:
      Male
      Location:
      Surrey
      Ratings:
      +51,727
      I don't know what to say to ease the pain. We went through the same thing Andy with what would have been our first daughter over 30 years ago. Hopefully there is a support network now, there was nothing then and even now it still hurts. You're just left with a numb feeling and never seem to get any proper answers. The best thing is to remain strong for your fiancee's sister and be there for her.
       
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
      • lisa caroline

        lisa caroline Gardener

        Joined:
        Jan 12, 2013
        Messages:
        58
        Gender:
        Female
        Location:
        west yorkshire
        Ratings:
        +30
        such sad news, you all must be devastated, i cant imagine the pain on losing a child
        theres a plant called doronicum "little leo" ?
         
        • Like Like x 1
        • Val..

          Val.. Confessed snail lover

          Joined:
          Aug 2, 2010
          Messages:
          6,355
          Gender:
          Female
          Occupation:
          Retired
          Location:
          Hay-on-Wye, Hereford
          Ratings:
          +4,951
          So very sorry to read this, all you can do is just be there for them. :cry3:

          Val
           
          • Like Like x 1
          • Phil A

            Phil A Guest

            Ratings:
            +0
            My sympathies Andy. Don't know what else to say my friend:sad:
             
            • Like Like x 1
            • "M"

              "M" Total Gardener

              Joined:
              Aug 11, 2012
              Messages:
              18,607
              Location:
              The Garden of England
              Ratings:
              +31,887
              :grphg: Sincere condolences to all who will be grieving for little Leo :grphg:

              Leo means lion - maybe a plant with that association? :dunno:

              Thinking a little more laterally, Leo came into this physical world at the beginning of Spring, so perhaps something Spring related? A small tree, perhaps?
               
              • Like Like x 1
              • silu

                silu gardening easy...hmmm

                Joined:
                Oct 20, 2010
                Messages:
                3,682
                Gender:
                Female
                Location:
                Igloo
                Ratings:
                +8,083
                So very sorry to hear you horrible news. If it's of any help, a friend of mine had to endure 2 labours knowing her babies were dead, however after much persuation she tried again for a family. Many years on she now has 2 very healthy rugby playing boys. She has never forgotten the babies she lost and her whole family still have a little celebration each year on the birthdays of the 2 missing members of their family.
                 
                • Like Like x 1
                • Dorothy

                  Dorothy Gardener

                  Joined:
                  Feb 25, 2013
                  Messages:
                  165
                  Location:
                  Nottingham
                  Ratings:
                  +122
                  So sorry to hear your sad news.:cry3:
                   
                  • Like Like x 1
                  • mowgley

                    mowgley Total Gardener

                    Joined:
                    Aug 16, 2005
                    Messages:
                    3,564
                    Gender:
                    Male
                    Occupation:
                    Wanna be gardener
                    Location:
                    Mansfield, Nottinghamshire
                    Ratings:
                    +6,627
                    My sympathies
                    I don't know what else to say.
                    Hope you all stay strong through this very difficult time :grphg:
                     
                    • Like Like x 1
                    • clueless1

                      clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

                      Joined:
                      Jan 8, 2008
                      Messages:
                      17,778
                      Gender:
                      Male
                      Location:
                      Here
                      Ratings:
                      +19,598
                      I'm so sorry to hear such tragic news. I have no words for this.
                       
                      • Like Like x 1
                      • Marley Farley

                        Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

                        Joined:
                        May 11, 2005
                        Messages:
                        30,588
                        Occupation:
                        Grandmother Gardener Councillor Homemaker
                        Location:
                        Under the Edge Zone 8b
                        Ratings:
                        +14,127
                        Oh Andy I am so sorry to hear such tragic news.. I cannot imagine their pain or yours come to that.. You will do what you can I know & we are all here for you too.. My condolences to you all.. [​IMG]
                         
                        • Like Like x 1
                        • Fat Controller

                          Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

                          Joined:
                          May 5, 2012
                          Messages:
                          28,544
                          Gender:
                          Male
                          Occupation:
                          Public Transport
                          Location:
                          At me 'puter, GCHQ Ashford Office, Middlesex
                          Ratings:
                          +53,671
                          So sorry to hear such sad news - death is never anything but painful, but it seems massively amplified when it is a child.

                          Your support will be invaluable now, and over the coming weeks, months and years.

                          My only suggestion (mainly due to the fact that I am useless with plant names), is to echo Mum's idea for a tree, maybe even with a nice plaque in Leo's memory?

                          If you need to offload at any time, or want to bend a cyber-ear, feel free to PM me.
                           
                          • Like Like x 2
                          • Sheal

                            Sheal Total Gardener

                            Joined:
                            Feb 2, 2011
                            Messages:
                            36,344
                            Gender:
                            Female
                            Location:
                            Dingwall, Ross-shire
                            Ratings:
                            +55,275
                            What sad news Loofah, I feel for all of you.
                             
                            • Like Like x 1
                            • honeybunny

                              honeybunny Head Gardener

                              Joined:
                              Feb 15, 2013
                              Messages:
                              1,213
                              Gender:
                              Female
                              Location:
                              Ireland
                              Ratings:
                              +1,915
                              im so sorry, my thoughts & prayers are with you & yours :frown:
                               
                              • Like Like x 1
                              • Loofah

                                Loofah Admin Staff Member

                                Joined:
                                Feb 20, 2008
                                Messages:
                                14,617
                                Gender:
                                Male
                                Location:
                                Guildford
                                Ratings:
                                +25,633
                                Thank you all so much, it is much appreciated knowing you're here.

                                I like the idea of a more lateral approach to the plants, I'll take a quick look.

                                It won't be of any consolation to the parents at the moment but the two other people I've seen go through this have both had healthy bouncing babies within 14 months. I know their time will come but now is a time of getting through, day by day.

                                We're going over later to see them now they're home again, taking food etc.
                                 
                                • Like Like x 3

                                Share This Page

                                1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
                                  By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
                                  Dismiss Notice