We thought we knew the devil’s name ... We didn’t ... Now we DO!

When the hurlyburly’s done,
When the battle’s lost and won.

It’s been a while. We have missed you. We thought Winter would be a holiday from gardening. It wasn’t.

Beelzebub, Iblis, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Satan?

Having received an ultimatum and deadline from our local Council to trim a hedge whose crown obscured a road sign, we set to work on the 1st January and discovered that the devil’s real name is Pyracantha "Firethorn".

Admittedly, Satan adopts many forms (including that of “Spaghetti Spinoso Imbroglio”) and this “shrub” shares one of Lucifer’s schizophrenic dichotomous characteristics of a devilish charm accompanied by a merciless resilience and irrefutable refusal to admit defeat. The local residents admired its majesty as well as the white ebb and red flow of the seasonal colours of its flowers and fruit, but it was not in our Council’s good books, for all sorts of, admittedly, good reasons (pic. 1).

All day, while I had been doing the high wire stuff, Mrs Lao (who has a very good eye and judgement) had been supervising and clearing branches when, suddenly one of them suddenly relented. There was a loud “crack” accompanied by a scream. Before I had time to put the chainsaw down and come off the scaffolding, several neighbours were attending the site of the accident. I could not get my bike out, since the garage access as well as pavement were blocked by several cubic meters of infernal debris and a kind neighbour took Mrs Lao to A&E (New Year’s Day is not the best time for such excursions, but luckily (sic) she was rushed through to a fast-track section while I was frantically clearing the pavement (to comply with the law) and garage access to release my bike and join the patient who was in serious need of pain-killers which the hospital was unable (?!) to dispense. I must here pay homage to the make, efficiency, and incredible robustness of my old chainsaw.

My presence was welcomed, as I could combine moral support and assistance with maneuvering wheelchairs between X-ray, CT scans, manipulation, and plastering departments, passing through endless corridors whose walls were lined with trolleys laden with disconsolate individuals in various states of disrepair, seemingly waiting for Godot.

Rather than break, Mrs Lao’s wrist had shattered and will require an operation on Monday (09/01/2023); due a trial involving patients enjoyings a virtual reality experience during procedures, the anesthetic will be local rather than general which, in the context of bad tidings, is good news. Needless to say, the NHS, despite the strain, was its magnificent self, combining care, empathy, good humour, and devoted efficiency in equal measure.

It is one of those cruel ironies that the person doing the hazardous work came out of it unscathed, leaving the innocent party punished; a demonstration that indeed the devil was a work.

This was not the best way to turn the page between 2022 and 2023; we very much hope you all had a jollier time in your opening gambit and wish you the very best for the forthcoming months.

The rest of the week has been spent carting (still under Mrs Lao’s advice and supervision, but WITHOUT her actively taking part, other than vocally [and you can see that she is in good spirits – pic.4]) the corpses left on the battlefield of a Quixotic war against an almost indomitable windmill (believe me, we are not dealing here with a shrub, but a virtual [yet very real] tree! – pic.2) from the front to the back garden (in which the photograph reveals about one twelfth of the proverbial labours – pic. 3) ... and beyond ... Birnam Wood — curse and all — has indeed come to Dunsinane!








Happy New Year!

 

Oh dear! Glad to see Mrs Lao is in good spirits despite the war wounds from the battle with the devil.

 

So, from what I gather, you dropped a branch on the Mrs? Hope she doesn't hold a grudge!
Pyracantha is a lovely shrub when smallish and managed, it's a right b*****d when larger and I got away lightly with the couple I've removed, just a few layers of skin and a pint or two of blood

 

Very neat!

Thank you to all for your good wishes; much appreciated by us both.

No, it wasn’t quite like that. Mrs Lao was tugging away at a 4/5-metre branch which was hopelessly entangled in the heart of the beast (I cannot begin to describe the muddled mess inside its civilized exterior); despite having explained that one should tug with arms only, the resistance was such that she put her whole back into it until the branch gave and she fell back awkwardly on her wrist.

You are too right with your description!

 

Oh gosh how awful ..what a way to welcome in 23!

I hope Mrs Lao's recovery is a speedy one and that all goes to plan.

Happy New year to you both.

 

And to you! Many thanks for your kind words. The operation is tomorrow, somewhere between 07:30 and 12:00. Will keep you posted.

 

Sorry to hear about this accident. For things like that, I use a pole saw - you know a chain saw on a long extension. That way I don't go far off the ground and can be well away from falling branches.

 

So far, all good!

Although GA needed, Mrs Lao has come out of it remarkably well; only one plate required.

I made her some Vanilla Kiferln which you can see her dousing in icing sugar three hours after her return home.


Mightily relieved (I lost an uncle who, during an operation for a slipped disc, under general unaesthetic, slipped into oblivion [when I was a child] and, at university, lost a best friend who had gone to have a protruding ear pinned back under local.