Wedding Present

Evening everyone. We have been invited to a wedding of a cousin back in Ireland in May. We haven't accepted yet - looking for cheaper accomodation than what has been offered (£180 per night hotel!) but its for a cousin who I see very seldom, but its lovely to be invited nonetheless.

Now, I was happy to bring a present, more as a token gesture than anything else, but talking to my snob of a family-conscious mother, I have been informed we need to spend at least £100 on a wedding present! Am I being tight, or does this seem a lot - remember we are probably going to have to spend close on £500 to attend, if you count hotel, flights and car hire. At this rate, we coud afford a holiday away for a week elsewhere, not a weekend in Ireland!!

What do other think?

 

When I got married I was grateful that everyone had obviously been out and bought themselves a new outfit, had their hair done, cleared their busy weekends and decided to come and help me celebrate the happiest day of my life.

I've been to weddings where I have actually been told many times the cost of the meal, how much per head the buffet was-how vulgar!!

You spend what you like Aaron, it's got nothing to do with anyone how much money you decide to budget.

Mothers! You can't beat 'em-unfortuntely. lol

 

This is going to be the wedding of the century. I completely agree with you Claire and if it were me, I would more than happy that everyone had felt they wanted to come and help me celebrate and a token gift would be more than appropriate. But this is FAMILY!

We are looking at costs now, if it proves too much then we won't be going and they'll get a congratulations card:hehe:

 

The last time I was in Dublin I stayed in Kilkea castle, check it out its fab!

Baz

 

Well, you protestant Irish were always a bit snobby lol.

 

:lollol::lollol:

 

I agree with what has been said also, spend what you feel you can afford.

A little tip and something that I do when invited to a wedding is on the day, I'll buy every newspaper I can get my hands on. These are saved for next year's anniversary as this first year is signified by "paper". You'll be remembered for that many years after the married couple have forgotten who gave what on the wedding day.

Steve...

 

I find that weddings today can cause so much worry and trouble.
Be very expensive and there is a "keeping up with the Jones" thing I hate.
Who is dressed the best , who buys the best most expensive presents.
We were invited to a wedding , the evening bit only a few weeks ago, the couple have been living together for years.
We are expected to stay overnight at our expense.
Because the wedding is miles away in some posh country hotel, which is costing thousands of pounds.
On the invitation it asked for no presents just money to do up their house.
I find asking for money a cheek, they have been in the house for years and have a child.
I'm not going,we are not family
It will be far to expensive .
If they need money to do up the house have a cheaper wedding.

Like you Lollipop, we were happy people came to our wedding and made it as easy as possible for them.
We didn't ask for anything.

Sussex if you really want to go I would spend what you want and not what people say you should.

Steve the newspaper idea is great.

 

You're so right Lyn. Great advice from everyone here. I've decided to contact the organ grinder (my cousin who is getting married) rather than the monkey (my mother!) and speak to her about costs. I will explain that we are pleased to have been invited and if the costs of the flights aren't too expensive we will be there...but as we are spending a lot on getting there would a token wedding present be all right?

If she says no then sod them and we'll spend the money on ourselves!

OH has also suggested we hire a camper van at Dublin Airport, thus killing two birds (car hire and accomodation) with one stone. Would love to see my mother's face when we arrive in it and inform them all that we'll be sleeping in the grounds of the hotel in it! :D

So true what is said - you can chose friends but not family. This wedding is going to be the event of the year by the sounds of things. The invite alone has more gilt on it than the crown jewels!:hehe:

 

It's a shame when people overdo it. I understand the need to make it a very special once in a lifetime day, just can't help wondering about all the once in a lifetime marriages that will ensue.