Why men are seldom depressed

:happydance::happydance:
WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --​

What do you expect from such simple creatures?​

Your last name stays put.​

The garage is all yours.​

Wedding plans take care of themselves.​

Chocolate is just another snack.​

You can be President..​

You can never be pregnant.​

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.​

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.​

Car mechanics tell you the truth.​

The world is your urinal.​

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.​

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.​

Same work, more pay.​

Wrinkles add character.​

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.​

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.​

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. ​

One mood all the time. ​

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.​

You know stuff about tanks.​

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.​

You can open all your own jars.​

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.​

If someone forgets to invite you,​

He or she can still be your friend. ​

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.​

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..​

You almost never have strap problems in public.​

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..​

Everything on your face stays its original color..​

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.​

You only have to shave your face and neck. ​

You can play with toys all your life.​

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.​

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..​

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.​

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. ​

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives​

On December 24 in 25 minutes.​

No wonder men are happier. ​

​

​

Men Are Just Happier People​

​

NICKNAMES​

· If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy and Sarah.​

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as ​

Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .​

​

EATING OUT​

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back..​

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.​

​

MONEY​

· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.​

· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.​

​

BATHROOMS​

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.​

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.​

​

DRESSING UP​

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.​

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.​

​

NATURAL​

· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed..​

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.​

​

OFFSPRING​

· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.​

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. ​

 

I just never realised how lucky we are Thanks for that Red.

 

I love it .. and all so true

Dave

 

So true except who needs a suitcase just for a 5 day trip!

 

I seem to remember a few strap problems - but dont tell the wife!!

 

Don't forget fishing too,

 

A while back, when a rather bitchy group of women were causing a bit of friction at my son's school, my husband gave me an interesting insight into the male psyche. 'I don't know why you bother with anyone,' he said. 'I just have the cat and the telly. The cat never gossips or makes nasty comments and the telly is sometimes a diverting companion. When it's not, I just switch it off.' :D

 

Redstar and Ziggy ..going to get Mr Lolimac to read this just to let him know how lucky he is....
Thanks for the posts...:D

 

Classic. A couple of weeks ago, my brother arrived from Australia to visit me. He had been on a World Cruise visiting 16 Countries prior to coming here. when he arrived i asked him if his baggage was in storage,he replied "She'll Be Right, this is it ".
After i had deciphered his words,it turned out he had one large sports bag,that was the lot.
He then informed me he had only ( one pair of underpants) with him:gaagh:.

He Said " No Probs Cobber,I washed them every day..