So Many, But Which One?????

The area of lawn is 83m2, so quite modest by some standards (see above to @noisette47)

Re "has been left fallow", there may be a misunderstanding here; as you can see from the photos above, the lawn has been regularly maintained, but needs serious improvement.

I wasn't familiar with the expression (1 of seeds/7 of weeds) and don't quite understand it; there are virtually no weeds here despite constant re-sowing of patches, and general overseeding. The only constant "weeding" (although some will disagree that they are weeds) is the sempiternal battle against poa annua.

I am interested to hear your interpretation of the saying.

 

Yes, I am going to go the “going up” route you suggest, albeit not quite as high. As you see below, I have prepared for a fair amount of topdressing, after close mowing, verticutting, scarifying, levelling, etc., to get rid as much as possible of the current mongrel aspect, followed by seedling fertilizer, and overseeding with a mix of weed free Johnsons’ luxury and general-purpose seeds. Then, anti-grubs’ nematodes (never sure about the unseen!) to try and combat the usual patches.

I suppose I am “particular” (not a term Mrs Lao would use, she has other favourites) about what a lawn is/should be. I am very tolerant about what others wish to see in their gardens. Some use their gardening areas to garden, others prefer to see them as sports fields, sunbathing or reading areas, or for children’s frolics. All fine with me. Our children have now outgrown all of the former, leaving the parents to indulge in more contemplative pastures. We have in our garden played football (the days that we have seen!) and have heard the chimes at midnight, albeit in the moderation dictated by the avoidance of annihilating some of Mrs Lao's long-nurtured plants.

I agree with your assessment re flowers, they matter a great deal and I regard the lawn as the jewel-box … but also as the equivalent of a zen garden where perfection can be experienced in infinite ways, depending on definition … I have heard certain musicians offer “perfect” renditions, simply because my ear was not sufficiently sophisticated to detect what they may have perceived as flaws, whilst what I heard was “perfect”, albeit in the ear of the belistener. I find flowers easier, they grow, bloom, wilt, each phase an acceptable part of the cycle. Dead-heading a flower is the easiest thing in the world, dealing with a dead patch of lawn is an arduous saga followed by eyesores for a couple of weeks, if not more. Back to Kennedy's quote!

 

re @fairygirl above.

 

Herewith the promised progress report on LAO’s “useful’ experiment”.

Apologies for my husband’s delay which, I am acutely aware, must have caused considerable distress and anxiety to some members of this forum who must have been waiting, breathless, for any worthwhile developments. My "better half", it must be said, has been far from idle (witness him below analysing the pH on Wimbledon Common [call it his PhD!).

On the 29th of August, the lawn received the cruellest (only to be kind, he said) treatment – scarifying, verticutting, mercilessly shaving, hiring hollow tines mastodon – there was virtually nothing left of the grass, and I TOLD him it would never grow back, that we would have to stare at a desert throughout the whole winter, and I went on and on and on.

On the 31st of August, he started what he called the re-generation programme, culminating in re-sowing exclusively with Johnson’s Luxury Seeds. I TOLD him that would never work (in fact, a member of your forum warned him against it (*)). He himself was unsure as to what the proportion would be between re-surging and the result of re-sowing. He reassured me (NOT) that he hadn’t used pesticides, and applied a very fine fertilizer recommended by LizThePot. Not that any of this mattered, as I knew from the start that we were heading for unmitigated disaster. We had SUCH a nice lawn and now we might as well have been staring at the Titanic.

He then crushed the whole thing with a roller (you’ve never seen anything like it – he had it made in 1997 - you could flatten sleeping policemen with it!).

But ONE thing WAS working: what had been named the “Fine China Experiment” (thanks to a forum member who – quite rightly – was taking the mickey) had been placed at the bottom of the garden (where I didn’t want to see it) in a large bald patch which, I have to admit, is being conquered and losing territory to such an extent that we have had to re-name the tuft “William”.

On the 3rd of September started the agonising waiting game …

Well, I MUST say, I HAVE to eat my words … some eight and a half weeks later, the lawn has never looked so good (see final pic taken on the 23rd of October). It would appear that the inclusion of the Luxury Lawn seeds has given the surface a new sheen which, I (reluctantly) WILL ADMIT, is very attractive, and all I can say now is that I always knew it would work!

(*) The good and unexpected news is that the small print on the side of the Johnsons Luxury Lawn packaging (and contrary to popular belief) states that, in fact, those seeds produce a grass that is more tolerant to drought (4 out of 5), better suited to shady areas (4 out of 5), AND require less maintenance (1 out of 5).

 

All credit to your OH! The result is magnificent!

 

Ohhh that sounds good. They're the bane of my life, along with speed cameras. A combination of that roller and a great big MF tractor could do wonders to ameliorate life round here

 

Oh, my goodness, thank you! I don't think I've had a gold star since my first year in kinder garden. I am touched and delighted all at once. When Mrs Lao saw it, she said Better late than never! I say Never too late. Anyway, I shall treasure that gold star and take it with me when I go back to kinder garden.

 

I got done once by a speed camera (32 mph in a 30 mph area! I mostly ride a bike, but this was with a car). Instead of paying the fine, I went on a course where we were tortured for four hours. It had a hypnotic effect. We all got very hysterical, laughed a lot but, to my great surprise, it was actually a fascinating course, I learned a lot and it took me a couple of years to recover, during which I never exceeded any speed limit. Gradually, I returned to my erstwhile philosophy of giving a car its head, depending on conditions, circumstances, cameras, and police presence. Always in my heart and head, I have a photograph by Eugene Smith which I evoke, always, when entering or mounting a vehicle, illustrating the consequences of a road traffic accident; I genuinely think that photograph has kept me (and everyone else) responsible and safe (?). I won’t subject you with this image here, it is too gruesome.

When biking, especially when carrying Mrs Lao (who has never forgotten being taken on the back of the bike (at 11 pm, on the 30th of August 1999, to St George's Hospital to deliver our first born, when she had suddenly broken her waters after an unwanted 'sweep'), I reward myself for good behaviour by being greeted, every time, on my return home, by an old T-shirt hung at the end of the bike shed; it looks at me and simply says: Good boy!

 

I'm 100% in agreement about taking into account all the factors you mention, but I'm also convinced that the money-grabbing exercise which 'road safety' has become over here is actually responsible for a decline in driving standards. I certainly spend far more time with my eyes on the verges, surrounding vegetation and the speedo than is safe.

 

When I got to the first photo, @LawnAndOrder, my immediate thought was "Now that is a sizeable patch of lawn to care for" ... and then I realised it was Wimbledon Common!

 

Your lawn looks wonderful, well done you! I'm surprised it worked so well when you did it in summer. Did you water it a lot or did it rain a lot?

 

I go there for reference, desperation and inspiration, keeping the perspiration for home where, luckily, the lawn is quite small (long but narrow and scalloped); I was most generous towards the borders, as they are Mrs Lao’s responsibility.

 

Thank you, it got me out of jail; I thought I was in trouble there. I waited until September and October, which is what it says on the seed packet and, yes, we’ve been extremely lucky with rain and good temperatures; there was no need to water. I have a feeling though that a lot of this result has to do with the quality of the top-dressing and a gentle pre-seeding fertilizer which had been recommended by LizThePot. By the way, DOES anybody know what happened to him? Such a nice, helpful chap!

 

I once invented a device to catch speeders (even though I would have been the first to get caught). It consisted of a tiny chip which would have been compulsorily wired to speedometers by all manufacturers, and which would, at the appropriate time, send a signal with all details of vehicle, location, photo of driver, etc., to a satellite. But, thankfully, having a great deal more sense than me, my wife confiscated my work ... You will have gathered by now that Mrs Lao never lets me out of her sight (stating I am not responsible enough) but the other day, in Naples, I managed to escape. At first, the elation was tremendous, I felt like that red balloon in the film, but soon an awful feeling dawned on me, like that of a lost dog who thinks he’ll never get another dinner. Like the man in ‘Oliver’, I started reviewing my situation: here I was, with no money, no passport, no identity, no credit cards, no mobile phone, no idea even what the name of our hotel was or the name of the street (if you can call it that) it was in. Was this the start of a new life? Or might I be kidnapped by the Mafia for a ransom which I knew Mrs Lao wouldn’t pay. Panick set in. Luckily, finding a pretty girl from whom to borrow a mobile phone is a lot easier in Italy than in some other countries and, thank goodness, though God knows how, I managed to remember the combination of Mrs Lao’s mobile phone. I called her and she said I was hoping you didn’t know my number … There was a frozen pause, then she said Where the hell are you? And how did you escape? I looked up for a street name (not a foregone conclusion, that), hoping it was correct and not the result of some Italian disorganisation, believe me, you never know in Italy. Anyway, I got away with just a rap on the knuckles. I got such a fright, though, I’ll never do it again!

 

There is one major problem with using the speedo as the basis for a speed check. Many/most display a speed higher than the actual speed by up to 10%. On my car I can access the service menus and they show that is certainly true on mine.