How much will you miss outdoor gardening in the next few months?

Can I plead lingering anaesthetic brain-fog? If not, I'm off to drown myself in the lac in the next field out of sheer embarrassment

 

Actually, the embarrassment is all mine! I hadn’t even noticed it. But I should have and then pretended not to have noticed it! You know the old French definition: Quelle est la difference entre la politesse et le tact? Le tact, c’est quand un homme entre dans une salle de bains lorsqu’une dame est en train de prendre une douche, referme vite la porte en disant : « Oh, pardon monsieur ! » …

 

I'd have thought that it was either a deadly insult or a severe case of bad eyesight

 

Talking of breech, we recently discovered a fabulous little museum in Bologna called Museo di Palazzo Poggi which, among many treasures, displays an extraordinarily comprehensive collection of models of foetuses in all imaginable positions, including 'breech'; Mrs Lao took an excellent photos of it for an ex-fiancée of mine (‘ex’ because, as an obstetrician, she was sent by the NHS on behalf of UCH to run a hospital in Vanuatu – I like to travel, but that really was an ocean too far!); Mrs Lao and I would both feel shy of putting the picture on the forum, in case there were readers of a nervous disposition, so, instead, here is a link (you can navigate via the ‘collezioni’ button) where you can see the breadth of their eclectic assortment, from 19th century astronomical instruments, fossils, ancient world maps, stunning model of sailing boats (think Le Secret de la Licorne, but six metres long), a gorgeous 16th century oak and marble operating theatre, etc., etc. Also, Trip Adviser is eloquent on the subject. Should you go to Bologna, check it out!

Gallery Museo di Palazzo Poggi — Sistema Museale di Ateneo - SMA

 

Actually, rather than drowning yourself, perhaps you could hold on for a bit and help us here. Following your advice about Iris ensata, Mrs Lao has got quite excited (yes, it’s still possible) and said We could have three or four, each one flowering at different times of the summer and autumn. Is this feasible? Could you recommend three or four aquatic plants that might fulfil that ambition?

 

I don't do much in the winter months, but will do the winter pruning of a crab apple which was butchered by a supposedly 'expert' tree surgeon. I'm battling the water shoots and working with the advice from the RHS website to fix it.

 

My wife told me I had 'butchered' our beautiful magnolia which had got nearly as tall as the house. True, I cut it down quite hard. But it's now full of buds. I pretend not to see them and await the reaction in spring.

 

I wish it was that easy with the crab apple. All it has now is half a dozen really thick branches and dozens of water shoots. Crab apples, and presumably other trees, aren't like woody shrubs which cope well in many cases with being cut hard back.

 

Well, then you can be 'clapped out' together, like a real couple.

 

You've got every chance of achieving that in London. I'll have a browse of my pond bible and check old photos of the UK pond and get back to you. Meanwhile, have a look at Zantedeschia aethiopica and Lobelia 'Victoria'. Two striking flowering perennials that can be grown as marginals.

 

Pontederia cordata or how about trying some Sarracenia in just shallow water, pots on bricks perhaps.

 

Good God, @pete, what have you got against LAO? He's already saddled with Orontium and you want him and Mrs LAO to be swamped (ha!) by Pontederia? My pond's not a bad size, about 3m x 6m, but that plant put on a world-domination bid as soon as I planted it (in a basket, too). Despite having got rid of every scrap, so I thought, at least 3 times, there's still a couple of bits poking up. I think Mrs LAO would like something pretty and well-behaved, just like LAO

 

I had it in mine and it just needed dividing every other year, I basically got rid of it because in a basket it kept blowing over in summer gales, I guess if you have a muddy bottom, it could spread, but so do waterlilies, and even your suggested Zantedeschia gets out of hand and blows over as well.
Is there such a thing as a low maintenance pond plant regarding vigour, I find they either grow like the clappers or sulk.

 

Yes, Pete must be a very cruel person, but I will forgive him ANYTHING, because he was the very first person to answer my very first query, by instant return, when I joined this wonderful forum on May 17, 2022. My relief was immense, and indelibly linked with the beautiful image of immensity, on his profile picture. There must be something 'zen' about a man with such an image!

Also, as an ex professional photographer (in one of my seven lives), I must commend his sense of composition; few would get away (with such striking effect) with splitting the field in half (nearly horizontally) ... AND the upper half of the photo is as profound and peaceful as vintage Rothko!

(And Mrs Lao just peered over my shoulder [no privacy, ALL freak control] and said: "Yes, and what does YOUR profile picture say about you?!?!)

 

Even here, where there's a tendency for everything to flower at once in May and June, I get a sequence from the Zantedeschia first, followed by the Iris ensata, then Houttuynia cordata 'Chameleon' (also excellent for colourful, if brash, foliage) and finally Lobelia fulgens 'Queen Victoria'. Acorus calamus variegata and Carex comans Bronze Form or Carex Buchananii add foliage interest and calm the colour scheme down a bit.