A joke or two - 2016

The Graveside service just barely finished,when there was a massive clap of thunder,followed by a tremendous belt of lighting,accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance::.

The little old man looked at the Minister and calmly said,


"Well, I Guess She's There". .

 

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A
neighbour suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked
great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second
horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other
horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again.
The neighbour then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which
worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence.
Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart.
The neighbour then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When
she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was
2 inches taller than the black one.

 

"Mr Clark, I Have Reviewed This Case Very Carefully, " the divorce court judge said, and Iv'e decided to give your wife £400 a week".

"That's very fair your Honour ", the husband said, " and every now and then I'll try to send her a few pounds myself"..

 

A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

" I'm OK but I didn't like the four letter word the Doctor used in surgery", he answered.
"What did he say",asked the nurse.




"OOPS !"..

 

Two Indian Junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.

Both are in Hospital------One's in a Korma----

The other got a Dodgy Tikka..

 

A little five year old girl was usually driven to school in the mornings by her Grandad, but one day he had a bad cold so her Grandmother took her.

That night the little girl told her parents that the ride to school with Granny was very different. What made it different? asked her parents.

Well, she replied, Gran and I didn't see a single tosser, blind b*stard, foreign prick or w*nker on the whole journey.

 

There has been a lot of political and media pressure for the Redskin owner drop the name of his team. Redskins finally drops name of there team:

Daniel Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as "The Redskins."

It was reported that he finds the word 'Washington' imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.