A joke or two.... 2022

Long time friends Sylvia & Wanda meet up in Heaven!!
SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?...
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.

 

Take that you illegitimate child.

 

I've just ordered a pair of trainers from Sports direct.

Got an e mail containing this statement from them.
"Please note that for orders with more than one piece, they may ship separately"

 

You can tune a Piano but you can't Tuna Fish

 

But you can can it.

 

Sometimes I just like the silly ones.