A Joke Or Two 2023/24

Just stole a turkey from ASDA. The Security man shouted “Hey what are you doing with that?”.
I shouted roast Potatoes, Peas, carrots and Gravy

 

​

 

​

 

I had to read this twice.

I saw this vampire sucking the blood out of a pensioner.

"Oy! " I shouted. "I thought you undead couldn't feed in the sunlight?"

"Undead?" he replied, "Don't be stupid, I’m Kier Starmer."

 

Its so hard sometime to not say to folks my first thought when they ask a dumb question. In this example I actually let my first thought come out of my mouth.
So I am in the food store, food cart in front of me, roaming about etc. So a neighbor happens by, she says to me "Hey what are you doing"? I responded. "Standing here waiting for the chippendales to appear".

 

And with our cameras at the Airbnb, it has audio, can hear the dumbest things said. We don't really want to listen. But just checking that they arrived, and out comes stuff from their mouths, SMH.

 

​

 

​

 

Not a joke, but they are making one of the tax office.

Snail farm in Liverpool office sparks tax avoidance probe

 

@Logan already posted your last one @Pete8 - check page 141.

 

Oh yes - dunno how I missed that I usually see all of them - one of my days highlights