A Joke Or Two 2023/24

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by wiseowl, Jan 1, 2023.

  1. pete

    pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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    This one is from the gate appreciation society.
    Read the sign.
    [​IMG]
     
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    • pete

      pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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      I still do that sometimes.
       
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      • wiseowl

        wiseowl Admin Staff Member

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        :heehee::heehee::heehee:

        904e084a55d0ea6bc78bd4aac1d0ad74--too-funny-funny-stuff.jpg
         
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        • Victoria

          Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

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          [​IMG]
           
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          • wiseowl

            wiseowl Admin Staff Member

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            • Victoria

              Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

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              [​IMG]
              A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
              Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
              "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer."
              "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. " Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
              "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'
              "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing ."OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
              "Not everybody pays."
               
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              • pete

                pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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                [​IMG]
                Uranus is leaking gas into space every 17hours.

                I'm sure mine does it more often than that.:scratch::roflol:
                 
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                • john558

                  john558 Total Gardener

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                  • Clueless 1 v2

                    Clueless 1 v2 Total Gardener

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                    This one has to be said out loud. It doesn't really work written down but here goes:

                    Why did Sweden paint bar codes on all their battle ships?



                    Because they wanted to scan da navy in.
                     
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                    • Victoria

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                      [​IMG]
                       
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                      • wiseowl

                        wiseowl Admin Staff Member

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                        • gks

                          gks Total Gardener

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                          • gks

                            gks Total Gardener

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                            • gks

                              gks Total Gardener

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                              • gks

                                gks Total Gardener

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