A Joke Or Two 2023/24

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by wiseowl, Jan 1, 2023.

  1. pete

    pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    51,031
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    Mid Kent
    Ratings:
    +93,713
    This one is from the gate appreciation society.
    Read the sign.
    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 2
    • pete

      pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

      Joined:
      Jan 9, 2005
      Messages:
      51,031
      Gender:
      Male
      Occupation:
      Retired
      Location:
      Mid Kent
      Ratings:
      +93,713
      I still do that sometimes.
       
      • Funny Funny x 2
      • wiseowl

        wiseowl Admin Staff Member

        Joined:
        Oct 29, 2006
        Messages:
        44,875
        Gender:
        Male
        Occupation:
        Philosophy of people
        Location:
        In a barn somewhere in North Kent
        Ratings:
        +91,978
        :heehee::heehee::heehee:

        904e084a55d0ea6bc78bd4aac1d0ad74--too-funny-funny-stuff.jpg
         
        • Funny Funny x 5
        • Victoria

          Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

          Joined:
          Jun 9, 2006
          Messages:
          31,433
          Occupation:
          Lady of Leisure
          Location:
          Messines, Algarve
          Ratings:
          +56,038
          [​IMG]
           
          • Funny Funny x 4
          • Like Like x 1
          • wiseowl

            wiseowl Admin Staff Member

            Joined:
            Oct 29, 2006
            Messages:
            44,875
            Gender:
            Male
            Occupation:
            Philosophy of people
            Location:
            In a barn somewhere in North Kent
            Ratings:
            +91,978
            beb75f531a0089edd6e40c663ff697dd.jpg
             
            • Funny Funny x 8
            • Victoria

              Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

              Joined:
              Jun 9, 2006
              Messages:
              31,433
              Occupation:
              Lady of Leisure
              Location:
              Messines, Algarve
              Ratings:
              +56,038
              [​IMG]
              A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
              Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
              "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer."
              "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. " Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
              "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'
              "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing ."OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
              "Not everybody pays."
               
              • Funny Funny x 6
              • pete

                pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

                Joined:
                Jan 9, 2005
                Messages:
                51,031
                Gender:
                Male
                Occupation:
                Retired
                Location:
                Mid Kent
                Ratings:
                +93,713
                [​IMG]
                Uranus is leaking gas into space every 17hours.

                I'm sure mine does it more often than that.:scratch::roflol:
                 
                • Funny Funny x 6
                • Agree Agree x 1
                • john558

                  john558 Total Gardener

                  Joined:
                  Feb 14, 2015
                  Messages:
                  2,522
                  Gender:
                  Male
                  Occupation:
                  Retired
                  Location:
                  Ramsgate, Kent
                  Ratings:
                  +8,948
                  339817073_805285771312653_4802814600177560878_n.jpg
                   
                  • Funny Funny x 4
                  • Agree Agree x 2
                  • Clueless 1 v2

                    Clueless 1 v2 Total Gardener

                    Joined:
                    Jun 26, 2022
                    Messages:
                    2,038
                    Gender:
                    Male
                    Ratings:
                    +2,769
                    This one has to be said out loud. It doesn't really work written down but here goes:

                    Why did Sweden paint bar codes on all their battle ships?



                    Because they wanted to scan da navy in.
                     
                    • Funny Funny x 6
                    • Victoria

                      Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

                      Joined:
                      Jun 9, 2006
                      Messages:
                      31,433
                      Occupation:
                      Lady of Leisure
                      Location:
                      Messines, Algarve
                      Ratings:
                      +56,038
                      [​IMG]
                       
                      • Funny Funny x 7
                      • wiseowl

                        wiseowl Admin Staff Member

                        Joined:
                        Oct 29, 2006
                        Messages:
                        44,875
                        Gender:
                        Male
                        Occupation:
                        Philosophy of people
                        Location:
                        In a barn somewhere in North Kent
                        Ratings:
                        +91,978
                        2789712758d3144f12bd59409374cc51.jpg
                         
                        • Funny Funny x 3
                        • gks

                          gks Total Gardener

                          Joined:
                          Feb 28, 2021
                          Messages:
                          1,728
                          Gender:
                          Male
                          Occupation:
                          Production Manager
                          Location:
                          Cumbria
                          Ratings:
                          +4,999
                          hands free.jpg
                           
                          • Funny Funny x 3
                          • gks

                            gks Total Gardener

                            Joined:
                            Feb 28, 2021
                            Messages:
                            1,728
                            Gender:
                            Male
                            Occupation:
                            Production Manager
                            Location:
                            Cumbria
                            Ratings:
                            +4,999
                            gps.jpg
                             
                            • Funny Funny x 3
                            • gks

                              gks Total Gardener

                              Joined:
                              Feb 28, 2021
                              Messages:
                              1,728
                              Gender:
                              Male
                              Occupation:
                              Production Manager
                              Location:
                              Cumbria
                              Ratings:
                              +4,999
                              save.png
                               
                              • Funny Funny x 3
                              • gks

                                gks Total Gardener

                                Joined:
                                Feb 28, 2021
                                Messages:
                                1,728
                                Gender:
                                Male
                                Occupation:
                                Production Manager
                                Location:
                                Cumbria
                                Ratings:
                                +4,999
                                25th.png
                                 
                                • Funny Funny x 4
                                Loading...

                                Share This Page

                                1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
                                  By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
                                  Dismiss Notice