A Joke Or Two 2023/24

I said to the Dr, can i have some sleeping tablets for the wife? He said, what for? I said, she keeps waking up.

 

John 8:32 "The truth will set you free"

Except on Facebook, where it will get you a 30 day ban.

 

I upset the wife's mother the last guy Fawkes night, i fell off the fire.

 

She told me it was her 30th birthday so i arranged 30 candles on her cake in a shape of a question mark.

 

A duck goes into a chemist shop
' a tube of lipsol please '
That will be 55 pence
' put it on my bill '

 

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a pint. It asks how much it costs, the barman replies, for you, no charge.

 

Which Icelandic singer was named after a City in Yorkshire ?

A; Leeds
B; York
C;Bradford