A Joke Or Two 2023/24

Took me a while.

 

My cricket memory is from the time I lived in a country whose language I didn't speak very much. My treat was BBC World radio, there was a broadcast every Sunday and I enjoyed it very much. (In particular the game show with Stephen Fry and the time when a military group called FARC did a coup somewhere in Latin America and the newsreader went to any extents trying to pronounce FARC without sounding rude )

Well, one afternoon there was only cricket on. It lasted four hours, without anything much happening, and then they had a break and apparently ate cucumber sandwiches.

Then they continued to do nothing until someone whimsically decided the game had ended. It was a draw.

I can't say the experience made me a cricket enthusiast.

 

This reminds me of the first time I heard of Phuket in I think Vietnam. I can't remember what happened, but I remember the newsreader doing the same. Some months later the newsreader was a guest on a talk show and he talked of the moment he first read his script, and really struggled to think of a way to pronounce it in a way that would not detract from the seriousness of the news story.

 

I said to my wife 'Treasure' I always call her that because she looks like something that's been dug up.

 

Straight out of the Les Dawson book of jokes.

 

I don't have any of my own, wonder when someone would catch on.

 

Why has no one come up with the idea of moving all the kids from the closed schools into the empty Wilko's?

Most of them are gonna stack shelves when they leave school anyway.

 

Did you know that If you took every vein and artery out of a human body and put them all in a line,

you’d end up in Broadmoor

 

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xKgMXM4CMjU

 

Only if you didn't have written permission from the bodies original owner, also providing that death had been by natural causes.
Rather than dissection it would probably be easier and more effective to replace the blood with a material that then solidifies and either dissolving the flesh in sodium hydroxide or allowing maggots to eat the flesh. Note it would be very fragile once you'd finished and as a final step you might want to encase it in a transparent polymer

 

I went to see him at the local club/ bingo hall in the 70s at Worcester where i used to live,he's a lot different from seeing him on the telly, but still great.

 

Not considered PC these days, mostly because he was funny.