A Joke Or Two 2023/24

run..............

 

Come on a bit of exercise is what we need after Christmas!!

 

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were captured by an evil sorcerer who condemned them to 10 years each in a pit.
However each was allowed to take 10 years’ supply of 1 item.
The Irishman said “Irish whisky!” and was duly granted his wish.
The Scotsman said “Scotch whisky!” and he too was granted his choice.
The Englishman said “Cigarettes!” and lo and behold his wish was granted.
After 10 years they were released. The Irishman climbed out but immediately dropped dead from alcoholic poisioning.
The Scotsman climbed out next and he too dropped dead from alcoholic poisoning.
The Englishman climbed out last and said: “Anybody got a lighter?”

 

I just found a half frozen tiny bird as I walked home, so I put it in my pocket to give it a chance of survival.
When I showed the wife, she told me how much she loved me for being so kind and sensitive, so I thought I'd try for a kiss & a cuddle as she was in a good mood !!

She said "No dear, not in front of the chilled wren".

 

An ornithologist couple are in a cafe. Suddenly a loud noise comes from a box under the table.

"Oh give it another fish for goodness sake Phil".
"Honey, please, it's your Tern".

 

Apparently Boeing have found a fix for that small problem of doors blowing out during flight.

 

What did the bilingual cat say?

Woof.