Bizarre gardening injuries!!

Poor Mrs.Mac!!! :rolleyes: But it is rather funny :D

 

:D :D you should of seen her WM she was spitting fire,didnt help when i fell about laughing :D :D

 

OUCH!

Last gardening injury I had was hitting the top of my head really hard on the edge of an outward opening window while watering some potted herbs and nearly passing out. I had a huge headache and bump but can't beat you guys though. Hope your mum's OK sparkle.

 

And you call yoursef Luckyboo :D :D :D

 

MD's story must be just one of millions that A+E people must come across. I heard of one which was horrible and incredibly funny at the same time - pity I can't tell it here - far too rude :rolleyes:

 

come on dendy, spill the beans!

 

no chance - it would infringe the rules, and the mods would be cross :eek: :eek: :eek:

 

curious-er and curious-er :D :D :D

 

I ended up in a stream. When we had the new house and new garden I rotavated the garden with a hired rotovator. I trundled down to the stream bank, stopped and turned. Started off again .....I didn't even know it had a reverse gear!!!
When I was still living at my Mum and Dads I was cutting their rather high privet hedge with electric cutters. I was cutting about as thick as it would cut and was balanced precariously on the top of ladders. I switched off, turned and fell off in to the hedge. A branch that was sharpened to a point and pointing up ripped through my shirt, scratched up my back and I was caught. I was left suspended with my feet about 2 feet off the ground. It was about 10 minutes before a neighbour heard my shouts. I was fed up and damn sore....and did not appreciate the chuckles as they positioned the step ladders to get me down.
When I had an allotment one of the old guys spotted a mole actually working and decided to spear it using a garden fork. Bad choice of weapon - we heard him screaming, and saw him hopping on one foot in circles, cause the other was firmly tacked to the ground. He was carted off to hospital with fork in situ - never did get that mole.

 

I stuck a fork through my foot at school having just finished digging my 'allotment' aged approx 10. The shoe was ruined naturally enough but the foot was OK strangely, just a peculiar hole thing. Same term I also jumped off a bunk bed and caught my big toe in the end of a boot remover that my downstairs bunk buddy had made in carpentry class. Boot remover worked well; it removed a big toe. They stuck it back on down at the hospital and it still works fine. Same term I was bitten by a mad dog and had so many jabs that I was in my 30s before anyone would give me another tetanus injection. I think it was at this point in the term that my mother stopped answering the telephone.

At work I got tiny shards of stainless steel in my eye from grinding a penknife - that was very painful and I had to have an op to get the bits out of my lens. I still have a slight halo in my field of vision at night. Wear goggles friends!

Oh, and I fell ONTO a wall, sort of slipped on a step and fell onto the low retaining wall breaking a couple of ribs. Ouch, and I seem to remember a rush of rude words..

Many years ago I remember trying to pull out a nail that was stuck firmly in a post on a wind break up above my head - using using a claw hammer. I was bouncing/pulling myself up and down using the handle of the hammer to hang on to, and hoping the nail would dislodge, when I heard an unpleasant gristly crunching sound. That was another rib going.

Once we were moving a large oak log around a slope with a carpenter colleague. We lumped it around to the required position with a sort of one-two-three heave action, and once it was in position the carpenter said " I don't like to say this but someone's got their foot caught under this thing". We all looked at the end of the shoe when he suddenly added " Oh God - it's me!" I'm ashamed to say we all immediately laughed like drains. Thankfully and very luckily he suffered nothing more than a bruised ego.

I was once up a step ladder that I had placed on some paving one November. The next thing I knew I was sitting in an adjacent pond, with the ladder bent in half over my head. One of the slabs that the ladder's feet had been resting on had been laid over a hole of all things, and the slab just collapsed into it with my weight on it. I think in an attempt to regain my balance I must have bent the ladder myself as I did not land on it. I missed the half-dozen spiked candle holders arranged artfully around the edge of the pond by centimetres but couldn't throw a ball for about nine months.

One spring in the 1980s I was fixing a fountain base in the middle of a small pond. I slipped and landed with my midriff on the base which projected about a couple of inches out of the water. In an effort not to fall completely into the pond I rotated around on it, like some pathetic break dancer. Needless to say one of my staff was watching, and instead of helping he rushed off to get his camera whilst braying with joy at his boss's misfortune. I was upside down in the pond when he returned as the photo later testified.

 

2 more people on my list - avoid contact at all costs.... :D

 

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Blimey jazid..I'm glad I'm not accident prone like you... :D

 

At the school where I work we started a gardening club in what had been an old walled kitchen garden. To start it off i decided to rotovate the plots that would be for the kids, and mine. I had to drive miles to find a place that hired out rotovators. The only one I could hire was huge - looked like a small truck and it had great big driving wheels and, god knows, how many gears - the gear positions had naturally rubbed off.
Anyway I started this thing off and the kids just ran in all directions. Getting it into gear was a matter of prayer and hoping for the best. I remember roaring down the plot at breakneck speed and trying to turn this huge monster, but not enough in time. It clipped the wall of the old coach house and the right hand side reared up in front of me still going forwards. I ended up driving the upteen horse power monster at a 90 degree angle, doing an impersonation of a wall of death rider, only driving a cultivator instead.
It amused the kids no end. To get it back to the hire shop I had to get it in the back of the school mini bus. So I drove it up a wooden ramp at the back. So it was chug, chug, chug,snap, clunk! as the plank broke and I fell through. Still cannot remember how we got it back in the end.

 

my other half broke his tree loppers and went to fix them by placing them pointy end up in a vice while he screwed down into the handle.

of course he slipped and 2inch blade went straight up betwen the webbing of 2 fingers. At the hospital the nurse showed us that you can see right inside the hand at that point , almost up to the wrist. very interesting.

other half was a bit pale thou....

another time, after a hards days graft, i asked him to open a bottle of plonk but he broke the corkscrew at first go, so he thought he'd use a pair of scissors to turn the remains of the 'screw, of course he slipped and embedded scissors in his arm. ended up with 8 stiches and a really manly scar.