Ere, Mods !!

Tee Hee.

No, I was too scared, i'm very shy you know.

 

Will this help ?

http://www.appbrain.com/app/the-guid...uidetochivalry __________________

Sorry Ziggy. That won't help me. I have a very chivalrous husband :luv:

Maybe it will help you :D:flag:

 

I need all the help I can get :D

Try this one,

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIdqh8GdOJg"]YouTube - Kitchen Robot Introduced in Japan[/nomedia]

It can make a cup of tea and wash up, thats more than the mrs can. Been outside in the cold & rain all day trying to fix her car, came in at lunch time, shes sat playing computer games, no lunch & just a sink full of washing up to do :dh:

There were words.

 

The Robots look useful Ziggy.
As for the rest - only you know.
Are we talking depression ?

 

Yep, but the doc has told her shes not depressed, just stressed. Thats why she does the bare minimum, plays computer games all day with the blinds drawn and expects me to do everything else.

she got cross yesterday when I asked her to clear her empty wine bottles as I couldn't get to the woodshed, said she didn't know where to put them, i said in the recyclying bin, wheres that ? same place as its been for the past 4 years :dh:

Sorry, going on too much again.

Going back to a lighter note, just opened a big tub of salted down french beans & they are perfect( had some mold on the top of some salted runners earlier)

Boiled them up for 10 mins with some dried butter beans & then drained & replaced the water before further cooking, they have imparted the saltyness to the butter beans so i'm now soaking both to remove the excess salt.

 

Too right, Marley!

 

I'm available for that post too, nothing like multi tasking :D

 

Sorry, airing me laundry in public again :dh:

Shes very happy tonight, Mr Chopper has sorted her out a lovely motor.:gnthb:

 

As Minister of Homeland Security & Justice, I intend to bring in some new measures to improve the security of this once great nation and return it to its days of glory.

Any immigrant arriving must prove that he/she is fully conversant with the British way of gardening and bring with them at least 5 new species of plant that we can cultivate in the UK. The only benefits they will recieve is a set of garden tools, a muddy patch and a packet of seeds.

Borders will be closed to all non gardeners, French and Icelandic fishermen, French sheep farmers and any feminists of whatever nationality. (Nothing less feminine than a feminist).

All caravans will be crushed. All drivers over 75 will be forced to drive electric buggies in the outside lane of all motorways. It will be a criminal offence to knock someone off a motorbike. No foreign drivers will ever be allowed to drive on British roads. (Make the tourists catch the bus).

Litter louts will be flogged in the market square every Friday tea time. (Get the weekend off to a flying start).

Garden centres and seed suppliers will not charge VAT. Minor offenders will be forced to collect litter and maintain public parks and gardens. Motorcycle thieves or vandals will be executed. Motorcycles will not pay road tax. 4 wheeled vehicles will not be allowed in the outside lane of the motorway.

It will be a criminal offence to fail to maintain your garden to an acceptable standard. Eldest daughter to be held in chains until garden is acceptable.

Plant thieves or those aught damaging any plant life will be hoisted feet first up a flag pole and force fed 50 Chernobyl strength chile peppers.

Peadophiles and rapists will be left at our clubhouse for the weekend and then executed and thier family will pay for the the bullet.

Drunk drivers to be executed on the spot. Lager louts will be forced to scrub the streets they mess up, with a very small brush. Then made to do housework for the elderly every weekend for two years. That will be for a first offence. Repeat offenders will be birched every other day and then made to do housework for Mrs Ziggy.

Muggers will have one ankle, one knee, one hip, one wrist, one elbow shattered with a club hammer and made to pay for any medical treatment they beg for.

Drug dealers will be given diesel enemas before a lethal dose of whatever vile filth they have been caught supplying.

Getting pregnant without proof of financial stability will be a criminal offence for both parents.

2 years National Service for every 16 - 18 year old. Those suitable for miliotary service will join the forces. Those not suited to the military will serve three years public/community service. No exemptions.

Students will have to walk to college, no free bus passes for the lazy sods.

Anyone passing a parked Harley will have to remove thier hat.

The national schools curriculum will include mandatory horticulture lessons.

School children will be taught that with rights come responsibilities and duty. The National Anthem will be played at start and finish of the school day. Children will be made to stand up when the anthem is played. They will be taught to have real respect for thier teachers and elders. All schools and government buildings will fly the Union Jack at all times and no other flag will be permitted at any time.

All members of the PC Brigade will be re-educated and given a spine implant and large doses of reality.

Women will not be allowed to wear trousers unless they have a bum like Kim Kardashian. Women will wear skirts and dresses, look like women and behave like women. Tights will be outlawed along with thongs. Real women wear lingerie, have curves and can cook proper food. Microwaves will be banned.

All new drivers will be forced to ride a small motorbike for 1 year or 10,000 miles, before they can have a provisional car licence. No car licences for anyone under 25.

The European parliment building will be used for target practice. The EU will be scrapped and every single penny the UK has contributed since day one, will be refunded plus interest. All EU laws applied to the UK will be scrapped.

The channel tunnel will be bricked up and flooded. All football stadiums and thier car parks will be turned into allotments. There will be no football or golf on TV.

Wait till I get started. No more of this mamby pamby bloody nonsense for offenders. No social workers and shrinks looking for excuses for the lowlife scumbags appalling behaviour. Just lots of very hard work for the community. Chain gangs in bright orange boiler suits working for the benefit of the society they chose to offend against. If they do not work, they do not get fed. No TV's, radios, snooker and sports. No visitors. No time off for good behaviour. Sentences to be trebled and served in full.

When do I start? Can I have a New Harley Road King as my ministerial vehicle?

Chopper.

 

:gnthb: Ha.......LOVE IT.......representing the Northern Colonies:D.......I'm in:thmb:


Good one, Ziggy!!!:wink:

 

Nice one Chopper, nothing too radical from your ministry then :D

Penny, you could also be in charge of maple syrup procurement.