FAVOURITE ONE LINERS

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by rossco, Mar 25, 2006.

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  1. roders

    roders Total Gardener

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    If at first you dont succeed-
    Skydiving is not for you [​IMG] :D
     
    roders, Apr 12, 2006
    #31 Quote in Conversation
  2. DAG

    DAG Gardener

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    :D :D :D
     
    DAG, Apr 12, 2006
    #32 Quote in Conversation
  3. Dave W

    Dave W Total Gardener

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    Man with no teeth has to succeed. [​IMG]
     
    Dave W, Apr 12, 2006
    #33 Quote in Conversation
  4. Rich

    Rich Gardener

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    See my sig. The Macc Lads.
     
    Rich, Apr 13, 2006
    #34 Quote in Conversation
  5. rossco

    rossco Gardener

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    I pretend to work...they pretend to pay me!.

    I'm not your type..i'm not inflateable!
     
    rossco, Apr 14, 2006
    #35 Quote in Conversation
  6. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    If a long dress is evening wear - what is a suit of armour?
    Silverware :D


    What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
    A bricklayer :D

    Mr JJ would like that - not!
     
    jjordie, Apr 14, 2006
    #36 Quote in Conversation
  7. roders

    roders Total Gardener

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    God made rainy days so gardeners could get housework done... ;)
     
    roders, Apr 14, 2006
    #37 Quote in Conversation
  8. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    Never criticise your wife's faults. It might have been those faults that kept her from getting a better husband!

    [​IMG]
     
    jjordie, Apr 15, 2006
    #38 Quote in Conversation
  9. Dave W

    Dave W Total Gardener

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    Do you realise that at eighty there are six women for every man...what a b***** stupid time to get odds like that!
     
    Dave W, Apr 15, 2006
    #39 Quote in Conversation
  10. Paladin

    Paladin Gardening...A work of Heart

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    Paladin, Apr 15, 2006
    #40 Quote in Conversation
  11. rudham1

    rudham1 Gardener

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    heres a few
    1- if at first you don't succeed, try management
    2-i pretend to work, they pretend to pay me
    3- don't question authority, they don't know either
     
    rudham1, Apr 15, 2006
    #41 Quote in Conversation
  12. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    Yes,Paladin, think your version is better! :D :D
     
    jjordie, Apr 16, 2006
    #42 Quote in Conversation
  13. Daisies

    Daisies Total Gardener

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    Just found this thread - haven't laughed like that for ages!!!!!! :D :D
     
    Daisies, Apr 16, 2006
    #43 Quote in Conversation
  14. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    [​IMG] He's not dead - he's electroencephalographically challenged :D
     
    jjordie, Apr 16, 2006
    #44 Quote in Conversation
  15. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    [​IMG] There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep. ;) :rolleyes:
     
    Marley Farley, Apr 16, 2006
    #45 Quote in Conversation
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