Gardening Humour

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by jjordie, Jul 21, 2005.

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  1. Beefy

    Beefy Gardener

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    A man walks in to a brothel, puts �£500 on the counter and says" I want a chip buttie and the ugliest woman in the house " The owner says"For that you could have the best meal in town and the most beautifull woman in the county" Man replies " Im not desperate im homesick" :D
     
    Beefy, Feb 27, 2006
    #226 Quote in Conversation
  2. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    Men are like computers - a smart woman keeps a back-up! :D :D :D
     
    jjordie, Feb 28, 2006
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  3. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    [​IMG] I'm a gardener and I'm OK
    I sleep all night and I plant all day!
    I dress in grubby clothing, and hang around with slugs.
    Oh I'm happy in the garden
    With dirt and plants and bugs . . . ;) :D :D

    (to the tune of Monty Python's "I'm a Lumberjack")
    I don't know how many times I have found myself singing this one since I heard it, :mad: so I though I would share it with all of you. ;) :D :D
     
    Marley Farley, Feb 28, 2006
    #228 Quote in Conversation
  4. Tortuosa

    Tortuosa Gardener

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    Thank you :(

    [​IMG]
     
    Tortuosa, Feb 28, 2006
    #229 Quote in Conversation
  5. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    :D :D :D :D
     
    Marley Farley, Feb 28, 2006
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  6. Paladin

    Paladin Gardening...A work of Heart

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    :D :D ALL TOGETHER NOW!!.................
     
    Paladin, Feb 28, 2006
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  7. Paladin

    Paladin Gardening...A work of Heart

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    Went to the doctors today..not feeling well :(
    He checked me over but said
    "I can't find anything wrong with you..might be the drink!"
    "OK Doc" I said..."I'll come back when you're sober"..................... [​IMG]
     
    Paladin, Feb 28, 2006
    #232 Quote in Conversation
  8. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    :D :D :D
     
    Marley Farley, Mar 1, 2006
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  9. dalbuie

    dalbuie Gardener

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    I like it, Paladin ! :D
     
    dalbuie, Mar 1, 2006
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  10. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    [​IMG] :rolleyes: Why do cowboys always die with their boots on?
    So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket. ;) :D
     
    Marley Farley, Mar 1, 2006
    #235 Quote in Conversation
  11. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    [​IMG] A toddler who was found chewing on a slug.
    After the initial surge of disgust the parent said,
    "Well . . . What does it taste like?"
    "Worms," was the reply. ;) :D
     
    Marley Farley, Mar 11, 2006
    #236 Quote in Conversation
  12. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    :D :D :D
     
    jjordie, Mar 11, 2006
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  13. Beefy

    Beefy Gardener

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    Politicians and nappies should be changed often,and for the same reason. :D :D
     
    Beefy, Mar 15, 2006
    #238 Quote in Conversation
  14. Liz

    Liz Gardener

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    Excellent :D :D :D
     
    Liz, Mar 16, 2006
    #239 Quote in Conversation
  15. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    :D Yes, like that one Beefy!
     
    jjordie, Mar 16, 2006
    #240 Quote in Conversation
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