Hel's movie heaven

Untraceable (18) (100mins)

Diane Lane plays FBI special agent Jennifer Marsh and its her job along with her work buddy Griffin Dowd (Colin Hanks) to hunt down and bust internet criminals be they credit card fraudsters or sexual predators.

Jennifer and Griffin checks out a new website called Killwithme.com and it's upto them to find out if it's real or just a sad joke.

The site has a live feed that shows a victim (which at first is a cute little kitty) trapped on a device and the more hits that the website gets the quicker the victim is killed.

Their boss takes the stance that 'it's only a cat so what' but soon changes his mind when the victims become humans. Its a race against time to find the killer and stop the torture inflicted on his victims.

Each time the killing is done in a different way but it's always the same ending the more the website gets the quicker the person dies.

A brilliant idea although the script goes a little crazy with all the things the agents claim the criminals can do via the internet, it's also a little long and spans out far too much.

But as I said a brilliant idea and some really strange killing methods, if you like killer thrillers if might just be right up your street! I have rated it 7/10 just because it's a little too slow a pace at times.Hel.xxx.

 

Well I have been a little slack of late with this thread so here's the movies I'ave seen of late.

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Semi-Pro (15) (91 mins)

Will Ferrell plays Jackie Moon the lead role in this 1970's sports comedy. Jackie is a past-he's-sell-by-date basketball player/ owner of the worst team ever in the sports the Flint Michigan Tropics.

When the ABA (the none league) decide that their best teams are going to join the NBA all hell breaks loose as only the best teams will go through so Jackie has to turn his team around pretty quick otherwise it's game over!

It was pretty bad to say the least but then after Anchor Man it's hard for Mr.Ferrell to come up with the goods again. Not funny just bad. 3/10

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Vantage Point (12) (19 mins)

Dennis Quaid plays Thomas Barnes and it's his job to protect the American President (William Hurt) he's good at his job as he has already taken a bullet in the line of duty, he made a full recovery from his injury but his nerves are shoot.

Thomas's first real job after the shooting event which saved the president's life is to once again protect the president while he is speaking at an event in Salamanca, Spain.

Things don't go well the president is shot but unknown to all but a few it's really a body double in the president's place and it's down to Thomas and his men to try and find out who the shooter is and where can they find him.

This film is taken from five or so people's perspective and so the 15 minutes or so before the 'president' was shot is repeater from each ones vantage point hence the movies name.

If any of you enjoyed Clint Eastwood's 'In the line of fire' then I'm sure you will like this film too. 9/10 it's a good'um.

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Juno (12a) (19 mins)

This movie is all about a young teenager called Juno who finds herself pregnant after a little fooling around in a chair with best friend Bleeker. She's way too young to have a baby but doesn't want an abortion either.

With a little help from her friend Leah Juno finds the perfect parents for her unborn child.

It's a very funny film which is surprising due to the subject of the movie. Ellen Page plays the title role of Juno and boy does that girl play the part so very well she's got to be one of torrow's major stars.

Juno was a girly treat for Gemma (Dan's g.f.)and I, we both enjoyed the film and I'm glad I got the chance to see it as it has now been removed from the cinema we go to.9/10 Hel.xxx.

 

Well if I was slack last time I don't know what you can call me this time! I'ave seen quite a few movies but didn't get around to listings them!

21 (12a) (123mins)

This movie is based on true facts of how a group of students become very skilled in the art of card counting so good in fact that they took Las Vegas casinos for millions!
Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess) is a hard-up student with grand designs of going to a top university but the fees alone costs far more than he has any hope of making from his job, that is until he comes to the attention of math professor Micky Rosa (Kevin Spacey.

Under the guidance of Micky the group make a mint but all doesn't go quite as smoothly as Ben wishes.
Should have been a great film sadly it was just ok nothing really exciting more of one of those movies you would watch at home and say it was a good film to watch. 6/10
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Drillbit Taylor (12a) (102 mins)
From the very first day of high school buddies Ryan, Wade and Emmit have been bullied it gets so hard for them that they have to hire a bodyguard to go to school with them for protection.

Homeless Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson)needs money to start all over again and so the boys hire him as he's so cheap.

A reasonable film to watch a few funny moments and also quite a few double meanings in it but once again far from brilliant.
5/10.
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Funny Games (18) (111 mins)
A family head out to their landside retreat only to encounter a pair of oddly polite youths wearing white gloves called Peter and Paul.

The family headed by George (Tim Roth) soon find out that Peter and Paul are far from nice boys.

The trailers for this film looked quite well and I thought 'Oh yes a nice killer thriller' but even with the introduction warning bells started to ring.
Firstly it starts with the family playing name that tune classical style on their in car cd player their chit-chat fades away and is replaced with heavy rock and I mean HEAVY!

The story lines has many twists and turns but for me they didn't work and once again I walked out of the cinema claiming 'worst ever film' a gentleman heard me and started a conversation (oh I'm such a flirt) he said he really liked it of which I replied 'You don't get out much love do you?. Seconds seem like hours. Very bad movie indeed 0/10
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Never back down (15) (115 mins)
Jake is a bad boy he is always getting himself into trouble. He has to move to a new area so his younger brother can go to a school for budding champion tennis players.

Mean while Jake has even more problems at his new school as he has come to the attention of baddie Ryan McCarty who takes pride in beating people up. Jake joins a gym and learns mixed martial arts as well as dicipline.

A really good fighting film one that I enjoyed very much classic boy meets girl etc. too. 10/10.

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Pathology (18) (95 mins)
Ted Gray (Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes)is a young intern who deals with bodies and it's one of his jobs to find out how each person died.

Ted finds out that some of his colleagues have a little hobby going on and that it involves each member killing someone for the others in the group to find out how the victim died.

Great film and a little gore in it as one would expect. Although I think it could have been improved with showing the people getting killed. 9/10
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There's more to come but I should catch up later.Hel.xxx.

Great film

 

Playing catch-up once again!
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Son Of Rambow (12a) (95 mins)

Set in the early 1980's this is a tale about two young boys from so very different backgrounds who tag together to make their own Rambo movie. Will Proudfoot (played by Bill Milner)is the young fellow brought up in a very religious household so much so that the poor lad has never seen any television.Hence Will thinks Rambo is spelt Rambow!

Will is changed forever when he meets Lee Carter (Will Poulter)a total chain smoking wild child who just happens to have a video camera and no guesses to which movie Will sees first!

It was a pretty good film loads of action done by the brave Will very charming and feel good movie of how two young boys bond no matter who or what happens to try and stop them. Funny to see all the so call cool cars of the 80's and almost everyone smoking in the movies! 8/10

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Street Kings (15) (109 mins)
Tom Ludlow (Keanu Reeves)plays a hard nosed detective who just can't get over the death of his wife he is under the careful eye of his best pal Captain Wander (played by Forest Whitaker) but unknow to both guys Internal Affairs Captain Biggs (Hugh Laurie) is watching out for them to make a dodgy move.

Terrance Washington (Terry Crews) Tom's old partner has been talking to internal affairs and shortly afterwards Washington is shot died in a store where Tom just happens to be as he was going to beat his old partner up.

A good film full of 'what's going to happen next?
9/10. & no slow moments either.
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The Spiderwick Chronicles (PG) (98 mins)

A very charming although a little scary (at least for little ones) at times this movie is about the Grace family who after their parents split up move to their dead great-aunt's house. Strange things happen right from the start and soon after troubled Jared (one of the twins) finds a secret room and a strange book and all hell breaks loose.

Loads of magical creatures although some are a little scary at times. A really good movie and unlike The Golden Compass it doesn't leave the ending hanging for the next film to follow onto...can't wait for the next one if it's half as good as this one I'll be well pleased! 10/10

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I'll be trying to see BOTCHED & IN BRUGES this week fingers crossed that they are good'uns.Hel.xxx.

 

This weeks movies!
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In Bruges (18) (107 mins)
Ordered to lie low by their boss Harry ( Ralph Fiennes) hit men Ken (Brendan Gleeson) and first timer Ray (Colin Farrell) find themselves in Bruges after Ray's first hit goes terribly wrong. While Ken finds Bruges's medieval city enchanting Ray thinks its the pits and can't stand the place even though Ken tries to drag Ray all over the city to try and enligthen him to the sheer beauty of it all.

Ray has broken the one rule that their boss holds dear to him and now Ray must pay the ultimate price but unknown to Harry Ray is haunted by his terrible mistake.

This film has it all a few swear words, action, violence and a strange hauntingly tragic figure in Ray but so funny too.....did I say a few swear words? What I meant to say nearly everything that Ray says is a swear word so if naughty words offend you please don't go and see this movie! Great movie 10/10

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Blotched (15)
A luckless crook has been told he must steal a jewelled cross for a crime boss or otherwise bad things will happen to him!
Needless to say our unlucky crook robs the cross but by some bad luck can't escape out of the tower block as the lift refuses to move from a disused floor.
Bad things start to happen as people get hacked away like no tomorrow in the most silly and gory way possible.

Sadly this movie was only on at our Cineworld for one week can't understand why as our Cineworld has 20 movie screens!
It was a very silly but funny film a cross between a teen slasher movie and Scooby Doo if you can imagine that! 10/10 I loved it!

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Stop-Loss (15) (112 mins)
Sgt. Brandon King (Ryan Phillippe) is a well decorated Iraq war hero and returns home to Texas to start what he thinks is a normal civilian life on his parents ranch but he along with his army buddies find life is far from normal and they struggle to cope with all the horrors and loss of life they have seen in Iraq. Brandon wants out along with his best buddy Steve Shriver (Channing Tatum) who served with him in Iraq.

The army is short on troops and there is no draft so they stop Brandon's newly promised civilian life and order him back for another tour of duty in Iraq, Brandon is horrified and try as he might can't find anyone who will help him out all doors close for him and he goes awol. Steve is promised a new career in the army and given the job of bringing his friend in.

This film brings home what the poor soliders have to put up with the praise, the catcalls, the losses of so many army buddies, the horrors of what they have seen and the realization that no matter what the army comes first.

Before seeing this movie I was unaware that Stop-Loss is something that happens today (at least in America) where soldiers who have done their time are refused the option of leaving the forces and almost drafted back in otherwise they are stunned by everyone and called cowards. A great movie and one that well worth seeing but be aware if brings home the true cost of war and all the heartache that brings with it. 10/10 Hel.xxx.

 

Another lot of movies sorry to write but there are some right lemons here!

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall (15) (111 mins)

Musician Peter Bretter (Jason Segel) is in a long lasting and very loving relationship with T.V. star Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell from Heroes fame). He has the perfect partner and perfect life or so he thought, Sarah dumps him and Peter is left devastated. he trys one night stands but still he can't get over Sarah so goes on holiday to try and get over her then the nigtmare really begins!

Sarah is stay at the same hotel and she has her new boyfriend in toe as well played by Russell Brand. Peter finally recovers from the aftermath of Sarah leaving him with the help of hotel employee Rachel (Mila Kunis) but even then things don't go as Peter had hoped.

The trailers made this film seem really funny sadly it was quite dull and I found that there were far too many scenes with full on front male nudity and I can't believe I'm saying this but for the life of me I couldn't understand why they put that in the movie!
4/10

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Deception (15) (108 mins)

Accountant Jonathan (Ewan McGregor) just leads a very broung life and has no social life or love life for that matter all he does is work that is until one late night at work in walks smooth lawyer Wyatt (Hugh Jackman). Wyatt introduces Jonathan to a sex club called The List where everyone is just a number and to hook up with each other you just dail a number on your mobile and ask if the other person is free tonight.

Jonathan finds about the club by accident after mistakingly picking up Wyatt's mobile after one of their many talks. Soon Jonathan is enjoying the company of loads of sex hungry high powered women that don't want to even know their partner's name they just want to have a good time.
Things start to go wrong when Jonathan falls for one of the woman (Michelle Willaims)she then disappears and Wyatt's true nature begins to show.

Again this movie looked pretty good but unfortunately it was so predictable and looked quite tatty in places. 6/10

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Three and Out (15) ( 106 mins)

Paul (Mackenzie Crook from The office fame) is a budding writer in his share time and dreams of getting out of the rat race and escape to the Scottish Highlands only problem he is that he doesn't have enough money to pay his bills let alone buy a house in fact the only money he does have is the £1500 he owes the landlord in back rent!

His day job is a London tube driver and he has a plan how to get the money to buy this dream home after two work mates tell him if you get three tube run over deaths in one month the company pay you off and you get ten years wages into the bargain hence the film's title Three and out, needless to say Paul has had two already this month and just needs another one before tuesday to get the huge pay out!

Paul starts looking for people who are really thinking about killing theirselves so they can help him get the pay off and finds Colm Meaney (of Star Trek: The Next Generation fame) who agrees to Paul idea but things need to be sorted before monday and Colm wants to see the family he walked out on 8 years ago before he goes under the wheels.

Yet again looked funny but the trailers shown all the best bits and when you go to the movies as many times as we do the so called 'funny bits' start to appear dull to you but saying that after watching the movie for only 20 minutes I was amazed how bored I was unbeknown to me at the time Bob felt the same...if I have known that I think we would have walked out and seen another movie. 2/10 Hel.xxx.
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Hi all here's the latest offerings and I'm glad to say that we enjoyed them all. We were going to see Nim's Island but one of my son's have seen it and told us not to bother as it's dire and that saying a lot as that guy sat through Horton Hears A Who!:D Hel.xxx.

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Fool's Gold. (12a) (112 mins)

Ben 'Finn' Finnegan (Matthew McConaughey) is a happy go-lucky guy who's just a little bit obsessed with finding where in the dark depths of the sea is the 18th century Queens Dowry a huge treasure load that was lost in a storm long ago.

Finn has lost nearly everything in his quest even his beloved wife Tess (Kate Hudson) who has insisted on a divorce and who is now working on billionaire Nigel Honeycutt's (Donald Sutherland) boat. Just when Finn discovers a clue to the treasure's whereabouts his boat sinks so he turns his attention to Nigel's boat certain that he will help him out but others are hot on his trail like Finn's old buddy Moe Fitch (Ray Winstone) so who's going to get the gold and will Tess ever forgive Finn?

A very good film although we took our time seeing this one as we really wasn't sure if it would come up with the goods so to speak but I'm glad to say we were not disappointed. Matthew McConaughey is very funny as Finn and Kate Hudson is very good indeed as his wife, this is full of crazy action well worth seeing! 9/10

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The Eye (15) (95 mins)

The lovely Jessica Alba plays Sydney Wells a very gifted concert violinist who from the age of five has been blinded in a childhood prank while playing with fireworks with her sister. Encouraged by her guilt ridden sister Sidney has a double corneal transplant but along with getting the gift of sight she also starts to see things that she shouldn't be seeing like dead people,visions of strange happens and ghostly dark reapers.Sydney has not option but to track down her donor and find out why all these strange things are happening to her as she is struggling to cope.

This is a Japanese remake and as per normal most of them are a little scary and this one doesn't fail the trend makes you jump a bit just like any good ghostly horror film should and one we all enjoyed. 10/10

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Iron Man (12a) (125 mins)

The brilliant although much troubled star Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark the billionaire industrialist and genius inventor who is kidnapped and forced to build one of his own weapons for hidden mountian top rebels. Upon his capture he is badly wounded and in order to save his life another genius hostage fixes a unibeam device to Tony's chest so he may live.

Tony and along with his new friend make an iron suit out of scrap metal and it's with this outfit he is able to escape although his buddy is killed in all the action, upon his return to America Tony decides he must turn his ideas to make the world a safer place and no longer make weapons of mass destruction. Tony remakes his armoured suit and his unibeam power disc on his chest which allows him to have superhuman strength and he also has the ability to fly. Tony thinks he has control of everything only his problems are more closer to home than he thinks.

A brilliant film and so unlike Superman or Spiderman 'Ironman' is a regular guy although Tony Stark is without doubt a genius he is not geeky in the least although he does have a little drinking problem, Robert Downey Jr. is amazing in this film Tony Stark was surely made for him! The action is fast and furious but not so that you find it hard to follow the story line is great and the supporting actors are brilliant.

One word of warning you really must stop and wait for the credits to finish as there is a little clip you really must see of a fore coming film. 10/10

 

Hi all once again I'ave been a little slack I have see some movies but most of them have been finished one we even walked out after half an hour and got tickets for another film the one we walked out of was called 'Smart People' boy was that appalling bad!

Domesday (18) (107 mins)

Set in the future a deadly virus called 'Reaper' spreads fear and chaos in Scotland the authorities have no option but to quarantine the whole of Scotland and let the virus die out with the people there, one little girl is allowed to leave after she is shot in her eye by some soldiers and in order to save her life her beloved mother pleads with some soldiers to take her little girl with them. The authorities then set about buliding a wall that puts the great Berlin Wall to shame with huge walls and no man's land in between armed with both robotic guns and soldiers on it.
After a few decades the dealy virus suffaces again but this time in London, the authorities know that there are still is some survivors in Scotland and they need to find them to save the whole of the country. In steps the little girl who lost her eye all those years ago now grown up Eden Sinclair is head of an elite group of soldiers and it's up to them to recover a survivor to save the coutry but just how bad are things beyond the wall?

What can I say a brilliant film like Mad Max but so much better, there is a great story line and of course the clans thing is a great twist to this movie plenty of blood and gore and toes curling moments one to see me thinks. 10/10 we loved it!

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What Happens In Vegas (12a) (99mins)

Cameron Diaz plays Joy who just adores her boyfriend so much so she surprises him with a marriage proposal while all their friends are hiding in the darken room sadly her boyfriend wants out of the relationship she is so devastated with this news that she goes to Las Vegas with a girlfriend to forget her woes. Jack (Ashton Kutcher) has been larking around too much at work and finds himself sacked from his job and it comes as a huge shock to him as his dad is his boss so he and his best buddy goes to Vegas to have a crazy time.

Jack and Joy meet up and after a very drunken night wake up to find that they are married only problem is that when they sober up they find that they can't stand the sight of each other and if that isn't bad enough they can't get the marriage annulled as they have won $3 million dollars between them of which the judge freezes the money and sentence them to six months of hard marriage.

Looked really good in the trailers but didn't have a nice flow one would expect although it still was a watchable film. 7/10
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Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (18) (100mins)

This film sees the return of stoner pals Harold and Kumar who got the munchies in their last outing. This film finds them locked up at Guantanamo Bay for all of one hour on terrorist charges after Kumar makes a bong while on a plane to Amsterdam to track down Harold's girlfriend Maria, a little old lady mistakes the bong for a bomb and all hell breaks loose.
Sadly this was pretty dire lots of naughty things going on but I'm not complaining about that lol just badly put together after 20 minutes I wanted to walk out but struck to it until the end although it was pretty much a waste of a couple of hours. 0/10
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Hel.xxx.