Internet Dating

This reminds me of something. One of our local pubs used to be biker themed, and was popular with the old school bikers. The landlord, a biker himself, decided that rather than design the decor himself, he'd let his regulars decide how they wanted it. It looked really good, and different to the norm. One time I was in there with the missus when I spotted a new poster on the wall. It featured a really good picture of the nicest Harley I'd ever seen. It really was a work of art. It was all polished chrome with electric blue tank and snake skin covered seat. Oh and there happened to be a young naked lass draped over it.

I said to the wife, 'that's georgeous', just to wind her up, expecting a bat round the head. She looked at the picture, then at me, then calmly said, 'you mean the bike don't you'. She knows me too well.

I should throw in a disclaimer, I'm not a biker myself so I don't really know what I'm looking at when I look at bikes, but I do like the appearance of some of them. I'm not really an art lover, but I know what like, and some of the custom bikes really are works of art.

 

Here ya go Clueless. Couple of my babies.

This is my Yamaha FJ1200 chop. The engine came out of a Competition Drag bike and is bored out to 1406cc. Everything that can be done to make it faster has been done. There is no rear suspension, (What is known as a "Hard tail"). Seat hieght is just 17 inches of the ground. Fastest I have been clocked on it is 164mph. Does zero to 164 in just 7.8 seconds. Sounds like an F1 car on steroids. Scarey as hell and brilliant fun to ride. Not for a novice or the faint hearted. At night you can see the blue flames coming out the exhaust. Good job I am good mates with the MOT man.





This one ismy Ultima El Bruto chop. Engine is based on the Harley design, but this one is a lot bigger. The engine is now 2000cc. High compression race tuned engine. Has to be decompressed before starting. Six speed transmission. 3.5inch open belt primary that eats my trousers. 10 inch wide rear wheel, 10 inch over stock forks. CNC machined billet alloy wheels. All of the engine, trasmission and outriggers are mirror polished. Lots of chrome. The whole frame, petrol tank and both mudguards are custom painted. Like sitting on the front of a steam train. Lights up the rear tyre in the first three gears. Will blow the doors of any car no trouble at all. Biggest problemis hanging onto her.




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This is the artwork on the rear mudguard.





Other side of the bike.





Not the cheapest bike in the world to build and certainly not the cheapest to run. Just bought a pair of tyres for her. The front tyre was £138.00 and the rear was £279.50. I get about 2500 miles to a rear tyre and about twice that to a front tyre. Pair of new brake calipers and matching brake discs £1226.78. With all that power you have to have very efficient brakes. It is a very heavy bike, plus my 16 stone it is a lot of weight to slow down. Set of brake pads front and rear £85.00, only availablefrom the USA, so I buy two sets at a time. Get about 4000 miles to a set of pads, depending on how I ride. (Usually VERY quickly). I love this bike.

Chopper.



Chopper

 

Ziggy, does your missus know that she regularly features on Gardeners' Corner?

 

No, she sits playing computer games with teenagers in her own little internet world:DOH:

I have invited her here but she doesn't want to play.

 

Chopper, your bikes truly are works of art. I especially like the bottom one. I don't fully understand the technical specs, but I understood enough to recognise you've built a couple of beasts there

As most of the custom bikes are, I believe, tuned for steady cruising, I bet it comes as a bit of a shock to others when you open it up and go off like a rocket:D

 

Thanks Clueless. A custom bike is what you want it to be. Some build them for show, some are built to go very quick and handle really well. I build mine to look how I want them to look and do what I want them to do. There is absolutely no point in me building or riding a custom bike that I cannot throw around bends and ride quickly.

People in general and bike riders in particular, often see the Yamaha chop, (The one with flames on the tank) and think "Chop, hardtail, slow, bad handling". They do get one hell of a surprise, especially the sports bike riders when I come past them on the inside and scape the foot pegs or the exhausts going round bends. I completely destroyed two sets of foot pegs on the Yamaha last year. Took about an inch off the exhaust on my Harley Superglide and tore the front exhaust off her going round a motorway roundabout. Had to make a new set of pipes for her when I got home and reweld the exhaust port where the exhaust stud was ripped out. WHOOOPS!!

All of my club brothers ride custom bikes, some are not as extreme as my chop, but they are all very fast. When we ride as a pack we ride pretty close together and at the speeds we do, there is no room for error. So things like very good brakes, tyres and suspension are crucial. If you look at the tyres on my bikes you will see that there is serious wear right to the edge of the tread, quite often scuffs on the sidewalls.

Before I spend any money on making the bike look nice, I always make sure that I have the best tyres available. All of the brake components are top of the range and I do spend quite a bit of time getting the suspension set up just right.

I have built custom bikes for lots of people varying from little 125cc bikes right up to a huge V8 Rover powered bike. Its all about being different and bending the rules of engineering, innovation, ingenuity and art. The time it takes varies but can be all consumimg. Cost can be a few hundred pounds to a second mortgage. I quite often get girls asking me to take them for a spin onthe chop. That is why there is only one seat on it.

Ziggy and his boy have seen the chop up close and heard it too!

Chopper.

 

[size=large]That is quite a Hobby, building your own bikes. Does the price differs mostly when the engine is more powerful?[/size]

 

Might have been me?

V8 3.9L racings heads & cams and all that jazz, about 300 BHP and weighs only about half a ton, 0-60 in somewhere between 3 and 4 seconds.

Quite noisy as it has a loud pedal

 

Basic rule of thumb when building custom bikes. Work out a budget, then double it, not forgettingto have a few hundred quid set aside as an O.F.F. (OFF = OH F*** FUND). Any parts you buy to build a custom bike will cost more because it is shiney. Any parts you buy to make the bike go faster will cost you a lot more than standard parts. I have built bikes using all second hand parts that I have revamped or adapted.

The engine in the Yamaha chop (One with the flames on the tank), came out of a Competition Drag bike. I built the frame myself. The wheels and brakes came off a much later model of the same bike. I made the exhausts in stainless steel. The fuel tank came off a bike that had been smashed up. The front forks came off a trials bike. The fork yolks I made out of two alloy slabs. I made the wiring loom and all the brackets. The front mudguard came off a big sports bike, the rear mudguard came off a custom car. The plan was to build a bike that was very very quick with a minimal budget. I think it worked.

My El Bruto chop is a completely different kettle of fish. All the parts used were brand new. The engine cost £7280, gear box, £2350, primary drive was £1965. Wheels £2300. Only way to get an age related registration number is use all brand new parts. Anything for an American bike is very expensive. Import duties and then the dreaded VAT on top of that can be crippling.

Chopper.

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Lovely job Kristen and sounds quite quick for a car. Did you do that yourself?

Chopper.

 

Online dating Shiney, do they come with sale or return? Ha ha, hope you are keeping well.

 

knowing my luck I would get Nora Batty or Rosemary West.



I met Mrs Chopper via an internet website we were both a member of. Been together more than eight years now. Just wish I had met her much sooner.



Chopper