LATEST MOAN FROM YOU AND ME 2017

@Linz it took me three days to get over last weekend stint with the wood,I just get so exhausted now after long sessions of doing things so when Mr Kandy went back over there yesterday I stayed at home and got all the housework done and even that wore me out

@shiney the new red cars might not have a problem with the paint work these days so Mrs Shiney might not have a problem with the new one.I wonder if my little Ka went off to the scrap yard in the sky as well,as they never mentioned anything about Auctions to us

@redstar when we were clearing out their dads loft the other year they found their Great Aunts wedding and engagement ring so the next time we visited their dad in the care home we asked what we had to do with the rings.My father in law said to sell them and divide the money between them.When Mr Kandy mentioned it to his sister she wasn't happy with that idea and never mentioned the subject again so in actual fact she has kept both the rings and that is the last we shall see of them and or any money She had every piece of her mums jewellery,plus because she was the favourite she got all the financial help over the years because my inlaws couldn't resist helping her when she pleaded poverty despite her marrying a pools winner.This was one reason my father in law died with hardly any money in the bank

As you say the vultures always want anything and everything that they think might be worth anything and it is always the so called Christian people that are the worst and in such things

 

Yeah, we had one on here that deffo didn't turn the other cheek and thought she was better than all of us

 

@Kandy with me my brother was also treated as the favorite by my mother, she signed the house over to him, instead of putting it in both our name. But did not find out about it till after she passed. Of course brother did not make it right. It was not, the value of the house but the principle. Anyway, we do not speak because of it.

 

@redstar what annoys me is that Mr Kandys sister while their parents were alive was always tittle tattling to their parents when they were children trying to get him into trouble and so gaining browny points and the parents never cottoned on to what she was doing When my late mother in law started having a guilty complex she told us exactly how they had been helping out his sister financially by giving her money towards her holidays,using the parents car to go on holiday with,doing all his sisters washing and ironing when their washing machine broke down and they were too mean to buy a new one.We had not got a washing machine when we first got married so had to do ours by hand and then when the weather got too cold we used a launderette which cost a fortune,so in the end we scraped the money together and bought a second hand twin tub

It always amazes me that siblings can be like that to their own flesh and blood especially where houses are concerned but money always seems to bring out the evil in some people and I always say that those people have the devil/Satan sitting on their shoulders and whispering in their ears,that is why that person can be so nasty to others

If you met my hubby and got to know his personality you would say what a lovely man he is and everyone likes him,apart from his family that is

 

Word had it that my brother needed money to fix the roof of the house. I just giggled. He shot himself in the foot so to speak, we would have had no issue helping, had the house been also in my name. And I believe there were a few other examples that rumored up about the same. It is sad what siblings sometime to each other, over "stuff".

 

Funny that some people are nice and respectful when they want something

 

@redstar after I made the mistake of mentioning to my other brothers and sisters at my late brothers funeral January 2016 that one of them could possibly be having to arrange my funeral if I am the last to go between me and Mr Kandy none of them have had anything to do with us apart from a Xmas card that is

The only sister that did have anything to do with us after she fell out with all the others many years ago has since made it up with them all because another brother has terminal lung cancer and will be lucky to see out the next twelve months.

She showed me up on the day we went to my Great Nephews 1st birthday party (her sons 1st child)through something that wasn't my fault but as usual it is everyone else's fault and she is the innocent victim. She has had nothing to do with us since the party and since she is back in with those she fell out with despite saying the nastiest could ever hear someone say about them.

I sent her a beautiful birthday card at the end of February but she couldnt even thank me personally by a message,my brother in law did(I can tell his style of typing) at the end of the day

I just give up with people and can always remember the words "You can choose your friends but not your relatives" how true that is...

 

That is human nature I'm afraid - there will always be those who give and those who take. Worse when it's very close to home and you realise that the one person who shouldn't be is just the same as the rest of the 'takers' in society.

 

Just make sure @Kandy all your "stuff" is given to the people you want them to have, so your family does not get any. Me, I say, I have no children to inherit anything, so I am spending it all, and no one will get a cent when I am dead. And if the nieces or nephews hear me say that so what, have not seen anything special they have done for me. The other day was my husbands birthday, not one of his siblings called to wish him happy birthday.

 

True of many people - conditioned to think that the aim of life is to accumulate as much wealth as possible before you go. I was speaking to the neighbours the other day - they told me that the lady who previously owned this bungalow passed away and her daughter had the place cleared and sold with indecent haste.

I have to agree with Redstar - spend the lot while you're still here - it's no use when you've moved on.

 

@redstar most of our friends have either passed away or a older than us and they too are wrapped up in their families needs so don't tend to meet up on a regular bases.None of our nephew or nieces on either side have ever sent us Birthday/Christmas cards because they have never been taught to despite us buying them them lots of stuff over the years,when they were born,christened,birthdays,Easter,weddings, birth of their children etc etc.Perhaps we have the wrong view of things but to get a nice card when we have a special Anniversary would be nice or even a card when Mr Kandy retired.The only one who does send cards is Mr Kandy's cousin but she is tending to be our very best relative all of a sudden is because we have no kids and we are not getting any younger

I can't really do a lot as any money we now have is strictly speaking Mr Kandies and I can't dictate what he does with his own money.Until I get my state pension at 66 I can't do a lot.

Mr Kandy's sister automatically thinks she should have it all whereas as I would rather it go to good causes,whatever is left as we might have to go into a care home when we get quiet elderly and they are expensive.I own half shares in the house we live in so at the moment I am property rich but cash poor

@clanless my mums will stated that her house had to be cleared within a month of death and then put on the market to be sold so sometimes that is the reason why houses are cleared quickly,not always relatives wanting to get their hands on the money.My mum had remortgaged her home to give her a bit more income but because she couldn't afford the insurance on the property when she died a short time after taking it out the whole amount of money had to be paid back out of her estate even though she was only given a fraction of the loan in the first place for essential repairs.Things like that possibly wouldn't be allowed these days

 

A reative ask for there inheritance, the person isn't dead yet

 

When my Sister in law sadly passed away the only relations left were two Nephew's & two Nieces alive, one of the Nephew's got the Sister in law sign her house & affects over to him a few months before her passing. My two daughters got nothing, but I did read & saw on Facebook that this Nephew showed pics of his holiday travelling across the USA. The house sold for over £400,000. I didn't want anything for myself but a little would have helped my daughters get on the housing ladder.

 

Good story I heard of years ago. This women, spent all her money, and charged all her credit card up to the top and then died, leaving nothing for anyone. LOVE it.

In my early 30's worked in the nursing home field, one thing I noticed is how little the folks are visited. I was the Admission Director, Social Service Director, and Marketing Director so my job to not these things for documentation.
One of my other jobs was to slowly put money away for folks for their funerals. these folks were ones that had NO family in their life. One lady I recall, her name was Violet, she always wore her red lipstick, and heels. No family was in her records, no one called, no one visited her. I had two area funeral homes that worked me me to secure the build up of funds over time. Anyway, she passed away, I had saved $5,000. for her funeral. Then this call comes to my office from some "cousin" he is blasting me, "how dare you spend that money on her funeral, what gives you the right". I said to him. Excuse me, I have been here 8 years, your name is nowhere on her records, and you never visited her ever. She made that decision to spend that money. You have no right to tell speak to me in that fashion. You are just calling because your trying to get money from someone that you never cared about. ----Then I hung up on him. Nothing happened after that.

Speaking of going to a "nursing home" . We have over here what is called Continuing care facilities. They start with a nice regular type apartment setting, those that live there have to be able bodied etc. So with that step the people have down sized their larger home and sold it to pay for the entrance fee. Most offer one meal included and free transport to various activities and doctors visits. Then as you stay there is a point system that goes toward the future needs. The next step is called a personal care area, help provided etc. again further downsizing continues. Then the last step is the "nursing home" where you really need lots of help, if not total care. again total downsizing of "stuff". Keeping only a few items, favorite chair, pictures etc. With this type of situation it avoids the blast of stuff to sort through, and the quick need to sell the home, and its the "choice' of the person to take the first step. IT is a proactive situation based on acknowledging that one day I will need more, and I don't want the burden to be on my kids, or I don't have kids, and do not trust extended family. ME--I plan to go this route one day.

 

About thirty years ago a 'then' friend asked for her inheritance then as she should not have to wait for it (she at the time had a useless husband who may or may not work! Her parents refused. She divorced husband and married a person who could keep her in the lifestyle she desired.