NIGHT OWLS

he is a control freak dend and i can be as stuborn as him probably more so when i am humiliated in front of people, when i walk i go and never look back, thanks for your concern

 

hi kandy sorry i didnt get back to you earlier, yes men are selfish, control freaks at times well mine is anyway, couldnt care less if he goes and never comes back and he can take the audi a4 with him, shiney will get me another :D :D

 

Hi Rosa.I won't bore you with the fact that it has taken nearly an hour to get here.

I think that Terry is feeling a bit left out,as he has come home on leave and wants your undivided attention,but you are spending time on the PC talking to all of us instead of wanting to spend time with him.He is probably thinking that it is us or him!!

Do you talk about us to him?If so that could be one of the problems.
He sounds a very insecure man.

Some men need to feel that they are so special in their families eyes,that they cannot bare to think of us women having a life that doesn't revolve around them,and start feeling that their world is falling apart if things go out of kilta.

You both need to sit down together and try to compromise on what you both want.
Try also to see things from his point of view.

He must be feeling like a computer widower,but he also has to except that while he is away,then you need some stimulation in your life to stop you from climbing up the walls.

I know how you feel as I have similar problems to you.It is alright for them to have lady friends with the people they spend all day with, but hate it if we have men friends,even though those friends only exist on a computer screen,not in our real life world,so we are less likely to be running off with anyone.

As everyone on here says,try to keep calm and don't get too wound up.Just talk to him and tell him how you feel about him belittling you.He probably doesn't realise just how much it upsets you.Sometimes men can be so thick skinned!!!

Remember one thing Rosa.Women are from Venus,men are from Mars....

Take Care my friend

You will need some of this I think



Kandy

 

thanks kandy what can i say, dont think he is insecure very controling, he used to go on about me going out with my friends stopped that now it is the pc i just cant win, everything i do is wrong so how on earth can you compromise with that

 

WE ALL HAVE OUR PROBLEMS PALADIN

 

Rosa, sweetie. It's possibly been difficult for your hubby this past week as he's been home and you've (you and he) have had your visitors from Thailand so there's not been much time together. I could tell that from here.

He may be a control freak .. I don't know about that as mine isn't, we have a give and take relationship and perhaps that's why we've been together almost 39 years. We agree to disagree.

All I can suggest as a friend is, when he's home, pay attention to him whether you like it or not. He seems to be away, off shore a lot of the time and that's your time to do as you wish. He seems to give you a good lifestyle and, if that's what you want, then there's got to be some give and take.

Even with long-term relationships like ours, every day is not hunkey-dorey .. if it was then we probably wouldn't still be together!

Think of it ... what do you want out of life? what can hubby give you? what can you have on your own?

It can be painful at times but someone has to back down. If you love this man, and he loves you ... love means never having to say you're sorry.

I too am here (by e as you know) if you want to speak anytime!

PS T'other half doesn't want to know all the details of what goes on on GC, but he listens when I want to tell him about things ... although he thinks I "harp on" a bit too much! Me being remote from my friends, it's good for me .. and ultimately good for him (he's not good making friends).

 

Well said LOL,but Rosa being a control freak IS insecurity.

I think that what happens to a child when they are growing up reflects on how they behave when they are adults.As one of the youngest from a large family,I had to watch my parents consantly argueing about not having enough money to feed us all let alone themselves,so now I cannot argue with people,would rather just turn and walk away,and I have never let money rule my life.As long as I have got enough to get by on then I am quite happy.

Perhaps thing have happened to Terry to make him feel this way,though LOL is right in saying that when he is at home he wants to be with you.

Please don't feel that iff you go off line we will be thinking that you no longer wish to be our friends,we will understand that you need time to be with family and friends.

We don't see Shiney all day,but that doesn't mean he has fallen out with us,it's just that he has a lot of other commitments that need his attention,more than we do.We cannot expect him to drop everything just to sit at a computer talking to us.
Everyone on here have their own lives to lead with their own families and work commitments,and will pop back whenever they get the chance,to say hi have a chat and pop off again,but it doesn't mean they know longer like us.

I hope things get back to normal for you both,because looking at the weather out there this morning,Terry is going to get pretty wet if you keep him locked out,and I don't mean just outside.

I will be thinking of you and hope everything soon blows over.

Take Care
Kandyxxxxxx

 

well said you guys, thanks so much for all your advice, at least i could talk on here as i didnt like to call my friends and disturb them late at night.

 

Morning Rosa.How are things?

 

Hi Rosa sweetheart hope things have calmed a bit for you,thinking of you .lots of love .xxx Gogs

 

everything is quite here this morning not seen him, thanks for your support guys

 

nicely put shiney and thank you for your concern, I always put him first and support him with his interests being football and horse-racing so i do feel a little bit on my pc is not to much to ask.
Its the only little interest i enjoy, when he is away i dont go out very much so i enjoy being on my pc.

 

Morning, Rosa. I hope you're feeling better and that you will soon be on here telling us that you two have sorted things out ... or at least come to an amicable settlement!

Hope you have a nice day - together!

 

morning LoL, feeling not to bad a little hurt but nothing that i cant get over, words are words batter your pride then you have to just pick yourself up and get on with it.
hows the weather there bet its lovely, showers and sun here this morning, just made my dinner beef and yorkshire puds.
thanks for caring sure do appreciate it.