One down: one to go! (Bruised heart nonetheless).

This is their first step into adulthood "M" . They have all the right kit - thanks to you; now you just go out today and treat your self to a pamper session,
see you here later,
we'll all be here,
no UNI for us today,

Jenny

 

You have done all you can for them "M" and it's now down to your lads to look after themselves.....they can and they will. I think we are so used to doing for them and thinking about their every need from nappies onwards it's difficult just to switch that off.

You will feel bereft for a time and it's like a period of mourning, it takes time to adjust to the loss. Little 'trigger' things will crop up and set your emotions off again and it's usually the daftest of things that will remind you, making you laugh and cry. You won't stop missing them, ever, but it gets easier and before you know it they will be back in your life (probably Christmas) to turn it all upside down again.

I'm feeling emotional right now just thinking and writing about what you are feeling and how I felt when my two younger ones left home/the country. Yes, I have three and my eldest is still close to home but that doesn't stop me missing the other two even now. Hang in there "M" and keep yourself busy.......it helps.

 

Thank you, you are all so very kind! I'm embracing your advice and experiences and I'm very grateful.

Well, they are having quite different experiences and yet experiencing some of the same technical issues

Mr Lincoln moved in a week before Fresher's (Fresher's being this week). Which meant there were only a select 'few' in the whole building and they spent their week: "social bonding". However, since the weekend, he is now sharing with ... 17 other people in his particular accommodation (and there are 3 other floors of equal number just on that side of the block!). Mr Lincoln is very much a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy: he enjoys being around people, wants to experience things - probably in fear of missing out on something Conversations with him border on the "vague" e.g. 'mates' (no names) 'out' (no places) 'eating' (no specifics). Fine. Just very different to how he was at home because we used to have fantastic, long, detailed, chats.

Mr Swansea, who left on Friday, is polar opposite! His accommodation, albeit in a block too, only houses 6. In addition, he specifically chose accommodation for it's "Alcohol Free" policy - this is the lad who attended BYO beach parties last year with .... a flask of tea! Mr Swansea has a much "deeper" personality. He won't put himself forward until he is confident he is able/right. He will take his time to select a "chosen few" he can trust, as opposed to being in the thick of the many. Conversations prior to Uni with Mr Swansea were brief, to the point and only given when he felt "necessary" Conversations with him now are pure joy: informative, amusing, teasing and I get off the phone feeling a great sense of satisfaction from our chats.

Where they are both very similar is: their sense of humour; even though they have different styles!

Now, of all the issues they could have (and I endeavoured to prepare them for) there was one which I completely over-looked and had them both stumped this last weekend: (dum, dum, DUUUUMMMM) the cooker doesn't seem to be working?



Mr Swansea gave up and used the microwave. (Sensible lad)
Mr Lincoln didn't want to be seen to be giving up so he ...

... put his head in the oven to see why it wasn't getting hot!! Gave up and made himself some couscous, added some tinned tuna and called it 'job done'

They both have electric cookers and I have taught them on Gas Silly Billies

Thankfully, eventually, they found a big red button on the wall (the one labelled "Cooker" ) and are now good to cook!

@Sheal - I am already totally understanding what you mean by "little triggers" I am trying to keep busy and keep my mind occupied on other things.

@Jenny namaste - a pamper session, dah'ling? I'm not incontinent *yet* (and far too old for Pampers!)

@JWK - wow, I can't even bring myself to clean (what remains!) of their room, let alone consider re-decorating!

Thank you for listening and being patient with me. I really thought I was better prepared for all this Mind you, one thing which was quite eerie ... I was able to go "powder my nose" ... and ...


.... the toilet seat was DOWN!! First time in my whole life, it was as I had left it!
And then ... "Sheal's 'Little Trigger' moment" ...

PS: for those who may not know - Mr Swansea informed me today, "Wales is so HILLY!"

 

Well it sounds like they're getting to grips with things already "M", including the electric cooker.

One day at a time for you "M", don't touch their rooms just yet, give it a few weeks unless you suspect there is something 'growing' in there that shouldn't be, a forgotten sarny etc.!

Although almost empty I still haven't decorated my sons room two years on, that will happen very soon. In his wardrobe (notice I say his wardrobe, it will always be his room) there is something that haunts me, so I try not to open the doors very much. That something is R2D2 a two and a half feet high Star Wars robot! He walks, talks and responds to commands from my sons voice. The reason he is still here is because he didn't want him broken on the long transit to America with the rest of his belongings, although he allowed his light sabres to go.......well insured! At this point I should make it known he is 35 years old, boys and their toys eh!

So don't go in there yet, you don't know what you'll come across and you'll need to many tissues!