Postules on my vine leaves - what to do?

Aldo - don`t let it bother you too much, my memory fails me several times a day, and sometimes I even forget my own name. My neighbour says he hears me talking to my plants............
''Good morning Metasequoia glyptostroboides - who am I?''

 

I did try to talk some sense into my tomatoes, with very little success.
Yesterday I sealed, or so I thought, with silicon the bottom of some giant pots I got for free, to fill them up with woodchips and water.
Given we have no water in our detached garden, I simply parked the wheelbarrow in front of the stairs, with the pot full of woodchips on it, and optimistically took several trips to the tap with a bucket, pouring it all on the woodchips while the sun went down.

So my neighbour found me in the pathway, in the dark, with an 80 litres pot full of woodchips, and a wheelbarrow full of water.
"Uhh, what are you up to?"
"Ohh, I am trying to grow mushrooms, you see, so I need to soak the woodchips, but I think I have a hole in my pot"
"Mmm, that's.. interesting.. Well, I'll leave you to it, good evening!"

Honestly, all considered, even if he noticed that I occasionally talk with to my tomatoes, it will be the least of my worries..

 

Oh dear, there has to be an easier way to grow mushrooms ...surely <shore leee!

 

There are many alternative ways, apparently, but not necessarily as pretty as using woodchips beds, also considered the annoying circumstance of having a third of the garden so heavily shaded that little grows there but weeds. But weeds love it.
But, yes, it was lots of work to start with, considered that the only access to the garden is through a very narrow path. 4 cubic meters of wood chips took me forever to transfer from the roadside to the top of the garden.
But in the end, while it does not look nearly as pretty as so many gardens here on the forum, it definitely looks much better than before, so it was worth it

 

By the way, this is the plant in question.
I guess it must be decorative variety as you suggested?

 

I am really really not expert on grape vines, but I believe that some varieties of the fruit are just bred for making wine. Maybe you have one of those varieties - I don`t know. I don`t think your vine is one of the ornamental ones.

 

Thanks.
Perhaps I can read about what is normally done to take care of edible varieties, and do it.
If it is one, it will pay back with better tasting fruits, perhaps..
Honestly, the fact it is is so big and vigorus makes me wonder though.
When I visited vineyards, I do not remember seeing anything that size.
But perhaps it is like for cordon tomatoes, unless pruned they evolve in a bush shape.. Not sure really..

 

If it was mine I would get rid of it. Then do some research and plant one that was sure to be sweet
Edit ..... have you made any wine yet? That has to be worth a try

 

When I dared to try the fruit once I then spent 10 minutes frantically rinsing my mouth.
I have rarely tasted anything so vile, I would not wish it on my worst enemy (I do not really have enemies, but, well, if I had some).

In my limited experience, wine grapes are less suitable than others to be consumed directly, but they still taste reasonably good. At least, my father's friends vineyards produced fruits which were meant for wine but still pleasant enough to the taste. So, I somewhat doubt that letting mine fermenting would improve things, but I might be wrong.

But the raspberries at the bottom of the garden were equally awful.
This year, I trained them a bit, fertilized them and so forth.
Initially they still tasted bad, but yesterday I tried one and it was excellent.
So I was hoping for another miracle with the grapes, I guess

I see your point regarding swapping it for something better, but we are renting, so I limit everything I do in the garden to things which can be undone quite easily, and I would not chance any perennial.
I did an exception with the woodchips and mushrooms thing. But it's just that I have spent lots of time last years removing tons of weeds from that large section of the garden, just to be left with a barren plot which nobody could possibly enjoy. Before it was covered in pretty unattractive black mulch, which fell apart after a few years.
Now it looks so much better, so even if it was expensive and time consuming for something I might not be able to enjoy next years, I am quite happy.

 

I think you were right. It is an edible variety.
The birds did away with most of the fruits before they got ripe enough to pick.
But I tried some of what is left and this year it tastes nice.
Not sure why though, perhaps the extra sun we had this summer helped improving the taste.

I guess I'll try and make a tiny batch of homemade wine with it.