Renewed greetings.

Welcome back Steve!!! So glad to hear you're feeling better.

 

Oh Steve, never be ashamed to admit to depression we have all been there. I must admit the amount of rain we had this new year was enough to pull us all down with the place flooded out but at least it wasn't too bad getting the leaking ceiling fixed finally after 17 and a half years. I am glad you are back missed you on the muppets. I did think perhaps your arms were playing up again. That's bad enough without the black dog. Do take care of yourself and stick with it perhaps we can cheer you up! God bless.

 

Welcome back I think a lot of us here can empathise with you, glad you're starting to get out of it. And as others have said, a problem shared is a problem halved; joining forums & having a good vent helped towards me picking myself up out of mine. And never forget, you're never alone

 

Thank you all for your wonderful support

The hardest thing for me at the moment, is finding the motivation to get on and do, once I do, I am fine.

For example, yesterday, I had no work, so said to myself, RIGHT, lets get gardening. Took a look outside, bit gray and miserable, so said to self, do your errands first...... done 'em. Was then back at home, pondering what was to be done in the garden, and pondering and pondering and well you get it, I sat and pondered from 10.30 to 15.40..... !!!

When I did get out there and got started, there was no stopping me, the Better Half had to implore me to stop and have our meal, but I knew if I stopped..... but it was almost dark. Before my Illness (and that is surely what Depression is? ) I was like that all day everyday, go to work, come home and garden until dark, even going beyond dark with torch lit gardening.

Most days, it is still a struggle to even want to get up in the morning, the only good thing is that I am a creature of habit, and cannot let the wife go to work without her morning coffee, which I have made since way back (she would not make herself one if I didn't, she will wait until she gets to the office.)

Thankfully I have also had regular work during this dark time, if I had not, well it don't bear thinking about. I am a rather proud man and did not consult my Doctor until I was so far down I could not bear life and it's challenges, and only because Mrs Gdnam booked an appointment and actually forced and drove me there.

I refused 'chemical' intervention, as did not want to be a walking zombie. I think actually admitting to the Doc, that I was struggling helped. As I would not accept his 'Happy Pills', he advised exercise and fresh air, set myself small challenges each day. He did not advise me wrong.

During these dark times, I think I kept a certain Scottish Industry alive all by myself. A support that I could ill afford to do, this led to other problems, which led to more drinking, which led to deeper depression, which led to more drinking......

I managed to keep my condition from most of the family, and certainly all my friends, when they did finally find out most tip toed around me. They never left me all alone, but were reluctant to relax around me, I think, so as not to set off a bout of depression..... They still tread lightly, but now understand more about how I am feeling.

It is a deep dark forest, but I can see the edge. Just some days it seems further away than others, another day, I am much nearer the light.

Thank you all for your support, and for listening to my drivel, loves ya all !

 

Gdnam, what I have read of your illness was so strong - it is not drivel. Not at all. There but for the grace of God could go any one of us - I am fortunate to have been spared deep depression. It sounds unbearable and you are so brave to come here and describe it to me. I wish you well and continuing getting better -
from the bottom of my heart,
Jenny

 

Welcome back Steve - hope you continue to get feel better.

 

I can emphasise with every word you have written, One day at the time, that's how I deal with it. I live in hope "something" drastic will happen to set me off on a new path but for now I just do what I can from sunrise to sunset and I try to take pleasure from the simple things in life such as a stunning sunset, the germination of seedlings or the mad antics of my beloved dog.

Take care, we are all here for you x