Todays Joke Thread....

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting
about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all
three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their
eyes .After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend said: "The other night, when my boyfriend came back
home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said,
"You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night
long."

The mistress stated: "Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was
wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes an! d a rai
ncoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild
sex all night."

The married one then said: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my
mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos
and mask over my eyes.
My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and
said, "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

 

:D :D :D Hahahaha dalbuie.

 

:D

 

John Arne Riise was stopped last night whilst travelling on the m62, apparantly he was heading in the wrong direction!!

 

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"slut!" he said, and dropped her.:D:D[/FONT]

 

AndyK..:thumb: C'mon you Pensioners.

You guys....Brilliant!:D:D:D

 

hope you win it pal lets pray man u slip up just one more time ,,up the hammers

 

:thumb:Cheers inter!

Must say though...now don't be offended mate...I had you down as a 'City ' boy....Sorryyyy:o. Still,the Acadamy gave us Frankie and Joe...I thank you Sir:thumb:

 

First read the sentence below


FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF MANY YEARS.


Now count the 'F's in that sentence.

Check once again to be sure of your count.

 

3 first count.. 5 second count...

 

5 first count.. 6 the second time.

 

6 mayhap.

 

6 backwards Shiney.

 

I'm assuming we are checking the Fs in 'that sentence'. There are none.