Vent alert!!!! (Do not read if you are out for a happy browse of the forum)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by "M", Oct 14, 2013.

  1. ARMANDII

    ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

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    :sofa::runforhills:Wat diddle I say??, Wat diddle I say???:hate-shocked:
     
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    • Sheal

      Sheal Total Gardener

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      Wait and see when "M" has caught up with you. :heehee:
       
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      • shiney

        shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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        I usually do what John and Redstar do - but sometimes take it to ridiculous proportions. If I'm in a shop and, for any reasons, they want to know my date of birth I always give them my father's date of birth (it helps to be consistent)! Nobody has ever called me a liar, to my face :heehee:, but it does stop them in their tracks. All the other info I give is equally accurate :lunapic 130165696578242 5:

        Filling in surveys can make for a few pleasant minutes whilst having a cuppa. :blue thumb:

        Like some others of you, I also receive phonecalls from my bank etc. My approach is just slightly different. My typical comment is
        "I don't dispute that you are who you say you are, but I'm unable to give you that information".
        "Why is that?"
        "According to your own instructions, I'm not allowed to."
        A pause and then,
        "I don't understand!"
        "I have your printed instructions on a letter that tells me, that to protect myself against identity theft, I must not give any personal information to anyone who has made an unsolicited phone call. It goes on to say that I may not be protected under your rules if I do give that information"
        "Ahh, but we are your bank."
        "Can you prove it to me? I think you really are from my bank but you're just testing me to see whether I'm careful about my details."
        "No, sir. This isn't a test. I really do need your details before I can proceed."
        A little laugh from me and "You're not going to catch me that way. I'm good at keeping my info secure."

        A few more minutes of winding them up and then they give up :heehee:

        In a similar vein I had, many years ago, an interesting conversation with the taxman. They had phoned me at work to tell me that I hadn't completed a form correctly about my staff. I had not ticked the box for the gender of each one of them. So I told them that I couldn't do that. They said that they couldn't process the form without it and I told them that I wasn't going to break the law just to please them.

        That brought a pause in the conversation before they asked me why I thought I would break the law. So I told them that the law says that, as an employer, I'm not allowed to make any form of sexual discrimination. They said that the law does apply in this case and I replied that I couldn't see anything in the full details of the law that says that Inland Revenue were exempt.

        They gave up!!! :lunapic 130165696578242 5:
         
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        • Loofah

          Loofah Admin Staff Member

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          We don't need to ask - we already know all about you M!

          I haven't the patience for it all. Never used to have to do it and it will disappear again eventually. In the meantime if I want a special offer I'll find one and for everything else I use modern technology and put the phone down
           
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          • HarryS

            HarryS Eternally Optimistic Gardener

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            "M" just go for the easy life - if its not important just make it up . I rarely give the correct birthdate, postcode or phone number , I also use a junk Hotmail email address.
            Also if I am filling out a form , and at the bottom is a section - DO NOT WRITE HERE - OFFICIAL USE ONLY ! Well I get a candle and rub it all over the section so no one else can write there :biggrin:
             
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            • Phil A

              Phil A Guest

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              Now THAT I like Harry :snork:

              I used to send prepaid envelopes back with odd things in them, like pictures of Lloyd George & stuff. Didn't realise some of them had codes on so they could tell who had posted the letter until I had some council official with a very straight face asking me why i'd sent him a Cabbage Leaf.
               
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              • "M"

                "M" Total Gardener

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                Maybe I picked up a 'spare tyre' from the experience :dunno:
                Are those euphemisms for: barrel chested with a large head, Our Mandy? :scratch: (Are you still mistaking me for a bliddy GNOME!!?? )
                Must check out the point value in those: anyone else know, off hand?
                I'm patient, Sheal ;) ... next year will prove *very* interesting at ShineyLand :whistle: :psnp:

                :lunapic 130165696578242 5: But ...

                ... not my age and date of birth :heehee:
                 
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                • redstar

                  redstar Total Gardener

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                  Was almost going to do that Zig. Then looked at the envelope and saw the codes on them, said, to myself, "Self, you know they can trace this". So I did not do it.
                  Anyway, sort of on this same subject: When I meet someone new and if something comes up, and the person says "Are you allowed to do that?", that person I wonder about. (I don't mean doing something horrid or unlawful, just crazy) Like moving around a display in a department store, or bike in Key West with a martini. Asking permission to do everything is so bizzar.
                   
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                  • Phil A

                    Phil A Guest

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                    I got stopped by an American that asked me if I was allowed to drink beer in the street (as I obviously was) :biggrin:
                     
                  • clueless1

                    clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

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                    As you obviously were what? Allowed to drinking beer, or in the act of drinking beer?
                     
                  • Phil A

                    Phil A Guest

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                    Both.

                    He was amazed, apparently they just shoot you if you have a can in your hand in America.
                     
                  • JWK

                    JWK Gardener Staff Member

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                    I always knew drinking coke was bad for your health.
                     
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                    • ARMANDII

                      ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

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                      So's going to School or College. JWK, as it's odd's on that some crazy will turn up with several automatic guns to shoot the place up:dunno::sofa::sad:
                       
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                      • Phil A

                        Phil A Guest

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                        Especially without Rum in it.
                         
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                        • clueless1

                          clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

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                          Have you ever shot a can of beer? Its brilliant. Especially if you shake it up first. The resulting bang is way out of proportion to the power of the gun you're using. Mind, I did it with an air rifle. It was on the privacy of my land, no possibility of a stray ammo reaching anywhere public, and the beer was cheap horrible stuff I'd bought as emergency reserve for a party so it wasn't really sacrilege to blow it up.
                           
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