Words that get on your nerves

I've just been to a shop and paid with money. My goods came to £2.99 and I gave 3 x £1 coins to the little assistant at the till (who looked about 12 years old - not that there's anything wrong with 12-yr-olds)
She took them and replied "There's one pence change for you"

I thought 'pence' was the plural. I've always thought it was one 'penny' ...

 

Lickul, then?

 

One pee two pence.

 

Its tuppence and frupence, forpence, where I come from.

 

That sounds like what you do in the toilet

 

Those were the days! How much to take a pee now??

 

And we used to say ha'penny but today they say half a pence (or did where there was such a thing) ... doesn't make sense to me.
Maybe it should be half a pee ?? but that sounds like something different too.

 

Thinking on it's not two pence it's toupee threepee etc etc.
Strange how the new coinage never got nicknames like some of the old money.

 

I still don't like calling it a pee. It doesn't sound nice

 

Well I don't know about anyone else but I've got a nickname for those tiddly little 5 pee bits. The ones that get stuck in the farthest recesses of your purse or pocket and refuse to be fished out.
But it's not printable on here.

 

A friend complained that she paid 40p recently!

 

Not keen on pisum sativum with your fish and chips ,then @Michael Hewett

 

As long as they don't call it pis for short it will be fine

 

You can call it a chichi (she she) and the other is cocô.

 

@Michael Hewett I don't like calling it that either